I spoke the other day using a beautiful Rumi quote about our brain being wired for survival and the separation it causes... I want to further explain more on the subject with what Brene Brown talks about in her book “Rising Strong”. She explain how the minute we have any threat, be it anxiety, shame, fear... brain say’s “give me a story that tells me who’s safe, a threat, good, bad, dangerous, a victim, etc... “ what the brain doesn’t take into consideration is the need for discomfort and vulnerability in real relationships... She talks about the Reckoning, the Rumble and the Revolution. The reckoning is when you acknowledge what your “hooked on” (what keeps going over and over in your head or is coming out in destructive ways) and get curious about your emotions (it is easier to offload them unto others than to feel it). Then it’s time to Rumble, and that starts with a shitty first draft (sft) the first story made up, which wether we like to admit or not, comes out as a “conspiracy” because by definition, these stories usually have limited factual data points that you fill in with your own values, beliefs and ideas. Then we go on to tell confabulations about this person based on this story because we believe it to be true furthering the divide. We need to instead, challenge these things, ask ourselves “what more do I need to learn about the situation, other person, and myself before I make judgements”. And finally the revolution is turning things upside down so uncomfortably that you can’t go back. Taking responsibility for your own emotions and not projecting your stuff and making it about somebody else. The hard pill to swallow is that nobody is ever doing anything to you.... leaning into it can help revolutionize the relationship. The right choices are often the hardest ones to make.
Remember to look for the rainbow after a storm... 🌈 ❤️
Btw this pic is mine and recent from my trip in India 🇮🇳