the reason way am in the place at ATM.
The last few days a haven't been triggered like in physical pain
the constant pain just broke me. and its no end in no end in sight here.
To be realistic, I think it will take 3-4 months or maybe never.
A was in a zombie state for so long time. and Arne 2.0 is just over 2 years old.
So a lost 90 of my life to this. maybe a Ned 5 years to be free of this or more.
or never be 100 free.
error system overload no info available
and my journey over here is jumping on a jet fighter and duck taping me to the wing.
And then a Ned to find a work, new friends, a flat a like, fixings my driving fear, fixings performance anxiety, fixings my self-esteem, fixing my body image.
its just to much. where do a even start, so am burn out. its just that easy.
its not me giving up is more my mind is just tired of constancy is activated.
now my brake is in the 1 week old. but the different from my old self is am blogging on the matter.
am aware of my state. before my software upgrade. when a was down a was quiet. 100% isolating my self.
am doing the same but more like 70%. isolating.