So today is my day of.
a had a plan to go to the bank and go Riding my bike. now the day is going to end soon and a haven't move from my computer or a did but a sleep 3 hours in the middle of the day just 100% collapsing, rest of the day just going to YouTube seen random stuff, not eating correctly.
no it do not
This morning when a was waking up a was thinking its of my post yesterday. in the way I do not work and just burning the light in both ends. so the Results are, when I'm free I do not have any energy to do anything constructive, here in Canada.
A feel my life is over before it started. like a was said yesterday a spend over 20 years in a depression and when a think back to my 20 a cant relay remember anything good.
am not saying its all bad but its mostly a blur.
Remember the correct tools going to the bathroom
in the winter time it can be yellow ice on the floor here in Canada
and now a feel a ned to fix everything in just a short time.Get my Future funding getting a home a family and just having a good lifeand a now a can t. All theis take a lot of time. But still am judging me so hard so in the end am going to lose whatever the result.
So on the job a go at it the wrong way in the beginning am understatement my self and not been clear on what a want a was so sure no one wants to hire my in the first place.
so been worried wage on how much a can work so when a doing my very best more than my Associates are doing because you're sure I'm getting fired all the time.the side effect of this is my boss see me as this massive resource and give me 100% instead of maybe the 50% a should have ask fore. like am so worried on the mistakes am doing but it's a new place the are not expecting me to be 100% anyway.
am not sure way a Ned a life vest and a oar going to the bathroom
but never be safe then sorry.
an still unclear on the solution on the problem but a now a cant work 5 days a weeks next week as the want me to.