After a started going to somatic therapy a learning a lot how my body is reacting to stress and trauma. And most of all a can feel when a need a brake or a reset.
life its a fens a bent on is more interesting
So a few days a go a told my boss a need to work less we had a short meeting on Friday we agreed on 26 hour week instead of the 36 she but me on. but we are under staff to 1 Juni so a had to work 5 days in a row. so yesterday was day nr 4, a felt a was over my limit by far my body is telling me by giving me a bad headache and “ants waking on my face my ear is locking up is pain in my body, a will say it 4 on the 1-10 scale, where 10 is u are in bed. Am us to it but a now a can't work more a need a brake. So i ask to go Early and to take today off. A got a yes left 4kl instead of 6.30.
putting in random photos but a relay like the ruff feeling in this
But am still on work then a a get my last favorite message from my body. Eating lunch we order China food a was eating in the store My throat is locking up if feels like a cant breath and a throwing +-30 min in the bathroom trying not to die, to get the food out and a can breathe normally. This problem has happen one or 2 times a year most of my life for the longest time a was thinking its always happening when i'm eating good food and 99% of the time at a party or family dinner etc. a was always thinking is me getting excited over the good food but its not, Most of the them am with my family a can feel it my body is locking up when we siting down at my parents house. it so much pain there for me so my body is telling me to get out.
me on the bridges again
But its not a massive problem anymore a few years a go it was a big problem.
This day it was just a side effect of working to much a can't just leave my work a need to just do it. But next week am going to work less so a think is going to be OK. And like today its my day off but i'm so over extended so like last week a have done nothing to day. Almost staring in to the wall.
A relay want to start joining the trail building in north Vancouver but a fear a can't do it this year is just no room for it. like a ned to do the build or working not both things, Atm it just to much stress to have a job. A think i'm going to manage to dealing with my work so a can't do smoothing in my spare time but a think ist going to take many weeks and then it's going to be fall. its ok can't be sad over it a ned to be ok on my $$$$ to, so a ned the job to be ok in the apartment, a need to remember to big plan maybe this means a Ned 2 years here in vancuver and a feel my work is going good on the social and technical side. So am pretty sure a have a job next spring.
if a want to get get my visa extended. am going to work to morrow but a after to day even if a did not to anything a feel better so a have a free day on Thursday so maybe a can go something then.