Greetings, oh, wise ones! My name is Filip (just like Philip, but spelled more fashionably) and I cuss a lot. Deal with it. All intelligent people do. Or was it drunkards… Either way, shit’s gonna get ugly from this point on.
Who the fuck am I, you may ask. I’m a ladyboy Gaga fan… Wait, that came out wrong. Lady Gaga boy-fan. Also, I am an almost-a-quarter-of-century old dude who has a dream that DC will make a good Batman reincarnation someday. Maybe I’m asking for too much. Jokes aside (never), I am here to teach you how to forge your mind into a weapon of ultimate destruction. Or you know, just helping you become a bit smarter and less anxious will do as well. What gives this cunt the right or credibility to write about brain development? Well, I did read over four books in my life, if nothing else. On the more serious note, though, think of me as a nut-job who’s conducting experiments in his garage. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m having fun. And no one but me can get hurt; naturally, it’s only a matter of time before my writing backfires and I offend a vegan, crossfitter, atheistic feminist.
So, what can you expect from this scheiße of a blog? I’ll give ya a hint. You’re not gonna get abs, a girlfriend, nor a pay increase, but I’ll give my best to provide you with only the highest quality material for you to read while dropping a deuce. And when I say the highest quality material, it means I’ll probably write it on a toilet seat as well. And to break it up to you, I’m mostly gonna write about four major categories:
Psych
This is gonna be a section where I’m gonna attempt to explore all aspects of our psychology; mental and personality disorders, substance abuse, Oedipus complex, and other nasty shit. Expect some freaky stuff, people.
Brain juice
Here I’ll feed your brain some steroids; I’m gonna teach you mnemonic (memory-related) tricks and techniques (if I manage to recall them), how to learn new languages, improve deductive reasoning, and so on. Basically, I’ll try to fry your biological CPUs.
Skillz
Your Yoda to be you’ll allow me (just let it go, okay, I have my dull moments, relax about it). I’m gonna teach you a few mind tricks, you bet! There’s also gonna be some communication and organization skills, a course on body language reading, and so on. But, yeah, I’m mostly gonna help you become a manipulative cunt… Use this power wisely.
Temper tantrum
In all honesty, this one is going to be oriented more towards me than you guys. This is gonna be my punching bag, my way to release some Steem (see what I did there?). In this section, I’ll write about stigma, taboos, our place in society and this Universe, and everything else that annoys the shit out of me. So, yeah, I’m basically gonna bitch about a lot of things here.
So, there you go. Four categories. Almost like a full-fledged blog. But more like a digital toilet paper. I’m gonna try and write every single day, although, I am procrastinative as fuck. Like seriously. Like totally. OMG. Yeeesh. Even writing like that gave me the creeps. Anyway, you’ll learn a lot. Or maybe you’ll gradually become dumber. What the heck do I know? I’m just a lonely Nigerian prince with too many zeros in my bank account. Pls, send me your bank details.