Good Morning! I went to bed at a decent hour, only woke up a couple times. Still not sleeping as soundly as I would like to. I need to adjust my life some more. I drink too much coffee throughout the day. I am going to go back to only one cup in the morning. I have been working a lot in the garden, and it tweaked my back a bit. I've been taking some Tylenol toward the end of the day to help me feel better. I have a very high pain tolerance, so it's hard to know when I've hurt myself until I am hurting a lot.
I got to spend a lot of time out in the yard yesterday, as well as the green house. I pray that I will get a place with room for a green house so that I am able to do what I want to do with my life. I wish I had started so much sooner, I wish I had known... I love being out there taking care of plants all day long. It's my passion. I am going to apply to the best local nursery in town once I come back from my vacation. So in three weeks, I will be applying for a job to do what I love. I really need steady income in order to get on my feet and out of my this house. The sooner the better.
SOOooo, I am worried that I am going to go towards manic state soon. I have been having manic tendencies. It's really hard to tell if I am just feeling good and normal, or if I am manic... I am still knew at this whole self evaluation. It's just that I have been very active the last few days, with a lot of energy. I have had a lot of sex drive. I have been agitated easily, very easily. I have snapped at my partner and had to apologize a few times actually. Much more than normal, and over things that are ultimately more things that should be talked about civilly. I have not exactly had insomnia, but I have not slept as well the last three nights. I have not had suicidal thoughts for a couple weeks, but this morning I did have the thought, but it was more like a passing thought that came and went without plans. Which for me is manic. If it had lingered and been with plans, it would be deep depression. I am not sure. I need to keep an eye on it. So I am feeling like the mood number needs to be elevated to a #6. Skipping five. Or rather, I've probably been a five for a while, I just couldn't see it.
Plans for today. Gardening! Lots of gardening. Gathering rocks. take a bath. listen to music. read. draw. play video games. pay my medical bill. pray. stretch. take care of myself. drink extra water. have a great day.
I am grateful for all the skills that I have been able to develop with my gardening over the past decade. I wish that I had really delved into it more sooner, but it is ok. I know what I want. I know who I am. I love plants. I love earth. I love water. I love air. I love fire. I love the either that connects and moves it all. Nature is alchemy in action. We as humans have so much to learn from our natural environment, on a vast amount of levels.
Well, time to get going and start the day! I hope that you are going to have a wonderful day, thank you for reading; I love you.