Last Wednesday I took my first acting class at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre. We were reading a short excerpt of Hamlet, "Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue..." I knew what kind of emotion I wanted to bring to it, but I was afraid of doing it wrong and looking bad...
Pictured: Looking bad...
I've done a lot of personal development. Books, videos, seminars, and workshops of all kinds. I've done more than anyone else I know. So it bothers me when someone gets on a stage and starts spouting a bunch of cliche platitudes.
“Just think positive! Shift your paradigm! Hodor, Hodor, Hodor!!”
— Hodor
So the question I ask is: what the hell does that mean in real life?
Here's my take on this one: We all have a belief system that absolutely runs us. I don't mean your religion or faith, although that's definitely a part of it. Our beliefs are the set of underlying assumptions we use to interpret the world around us. None of them are wrong, but they may be out of line with what we want in our lives. No two people's match up exactly no matter how level headed and clear thinking we think we are, and they're basically invisible which makes them extremely hard to discover.
We all have that friend who continually makes a train wreck of their life when we can all see the problem so clearly. News flash: I do it and you do too. What makes it worse is that people are trying to tell us and we aren't listening. By definition we cannot see our blind spots.
Having beliefs that don't put us on the path to our goals are how we get in our own way.
Getting Help
When we feel bad we will definitely go to a doctor after we get over a cancer scare from searching our symptoms on WebMD. We'd be silly not to. If we want to get in shape we'll buy a book, join a gym and maybe get a trainer. But there is a large segment of society that will react with revulsion at the mere mention of a life coach or therapist. A good coach knows how to lead you in a circle until you can see your own bullshit and how it has been running you your entire life. I've had several and I recommend you give it a try.
Notice I don't use the term "limiting belief." I think our beliefs run at maximum efficiency whichever direction they're pointed. If we don't believe we deserve good things in life, then our beliefs will run us full speed in that direction.
Bring It On Home...
So when I was about to read Hamlet I was afraid I would do it poorly, people would laugh at me, and no one would like me.
That's a belief that has kept me from doing a lot of things in my life, preferring to play it safe and consequently letting much of life's opportunities and fun pass me by for fear of being embarrassed. But that day I decided to just go for it. It was only a few seconds of reading and it turned out really well. I got out of my own way and my heart grew three sizes that day...
Pictured: Looking Baaaaaad!
My question to you is this: Have you consistently made the same mistake in your life? Have you blamed that on someone else? Have you ever gotten feedback that you totally disagreed with and dismissed out of hand? I have. I do it all the time. These are good places to look and see if your beliefs around a certain area of your life aren't serving you, and then do something about that. It'll be excruciating, but it will be rewarding.
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