My whole life I was told I was different. I believed it, until my lesson from Asclepius on the night with no moon.
An ikaro was sung somewhere deep within a jungle. There was a woven vase in front of me holding two tree limbs. Two snakes from within the vase spiralled up the limbs.
They slithered into my consciousness and I curled into a ball weeping with apologies and relief. They were wise snakes but cold-blooded. Their wisdom gave me new sight, despite what I desired to see.
What had been suppressed and forgotten rose into awareness along with understanding that was undeniable. I had lost my way at some point, maybe not all at once. Perhaps it was a gradual process of degradation.
As the old woman sang, the snakes burrowed into me, wrapping themselves around my mind until they had witnessed my entire past. Their eyes became mine and there were no longer any secrets I could keep. Nothing could be hidden from sight. Every illusion was pierced, it seemed.
The fire's light made shadows as though they were enacting memories that had been hidden in the dark long ago. The fire's shadows were my shadows and as they became entrenched in this new light I had being given, the truth was exposed as it is. It was a spontaneous and surprising vision of my errors. I was immensely grateful for what I have always been and felt remorse for ever seeking something better.
Seeing things so clearly brought grief for a moment. Perhaps there would've been terror of the abyss without the presence of the guides.
The onlookers formed a circular boundary protecting me from the rest of the jungle, faces hidden in the dark at the edge of the ember's glow. They were family, I sensed. They all acted as though life is a celebration.
The old woman's voice remained alive with strength as I remembered my pain. Like how a mother's voice soothes her baby, the shaman's was cast over me. Waves of the inexplicable washed away my scars. It allowed me to see again. I finally understood. I was able to forgive myself and begin to heal.
How far separated from my nature I'd become didn't matter. I had returned home . . . welcomed by the snakes, the fire, and the shaman.
The snakes showed me everything.
Anxieties can be hidden. Trauma can fester and this process prevents intelligence, which is the same as going blind. I acted on belief and escaped from my errors. I managed my problems instead of understanding what causes them in the first place. I would seek control because I was afraid and insecure. I believed I was a responsible, respectable adult.
When the brain had healed completely from delusion, I gave my attention to the present activity in my mind, not in order to gain a reward, but freely out of gratitude for being alive. I had passion for this non-activity like you would a love affair or childhood hobby. It wasn't forced with discipline. It was at times an almost unbearable joy. The thought of death was not without the thought of life. I knew in my bones and in my blood and every molecule of this body that on a cosmic level, everything is OK. There is absolutely nothing to fear. Life, the universe, will go on.
On Earth however, our ship is sinking fast. To get to the root cause of the problem, we have to start at the beginning. What is the source of action? Not theoretically, but can it actually be observed? This is important because if our species is facing epidemic corruption, we mustn't divide the responsibility between us and them. Society is the collective behaviour over time of every single human on this planet. If action starts in the mind, then so does society. The mind is where we should be looking if we want to radically alter the course of civilization for good, in service to all life.
The snakes gave me back my eyes, the fire faded, and the shaman went silent.
I am not different from you. I am not better or worse. That is something that can't be measured. That is a lesson I will never forget.
"A famous rabi once said, 'If I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you.' In other words, we are not separate. We define each other."
-Alan Watts
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