Dear Steemit,
no one truly understands a mental illness until they're the ones staring it in the face. Anxiety is just worrying for no reason. Depression is laziness. Suicide is cowardly. That is, until you puke because you're nervous about a job interview. Until you can't find the energy to shower even though it's been over a week and you smell bad. Until your thoughts are torture and you can't stand living another day.
When you come face to face with the reality of these mental illnesses, then and only then can you truly understand them. Which is not an excuse to be ignorant, although it is nice to know that people out there haven't dealt with them. But they can still be empathetic or, at the very least, accepting of mental illness. You don't need to have one to be respectful towards people who do.
Everyone should know by now that they are real. When the entire medical community recognizes anxiety as a mental illness, you sure sound like an idiot when you say 'just stop worrying' to someone who has it. Not only is that a statement only able to be made in a state of denial, but it can really hurt an individual, who happens to already be suffering. This is something I think we've all done at some point. Sometimes without even realizing.
Maybe can accept that a friend has depression and try to be supportive, but when they cancel plans for the third time in a row you can't help get annoyed. They most likely feel guilty already, and now you're reassuring them that they should. You can feel let down, miss your friend, wish they would just follow through for once, but I do hope that doesn't cloud your judgement. They aren't out to upswt you. They are hurting, and patience can go a long way.
Let's say a friend has OCD. They have weird little 'quirks' that you accept, small ones like lining up their pencils or using hand sanitizer after they touch something one usually wouldn't consider dirty. You don't mind them, in fact, you hardly notice anymore. But then you go to their house and they flick the lights on and off five times before entering their room and you think, 'what the hell, that's so unnecessary.' Maybe you let out an eye roll, they catch it and feel uncomfortable. It's an inconvenience in their lives, every day, every time they enter their room, and they don't know the reason they need to do it anymore than you do. But you had to witness with it once and it's weird to you, so instead of being empathetic you let out a sigh, making them get a nice sinking feeling in their stomach, wishing now more than ever they were 'normal.'
If you have a mental illness and these tiny things don't bother you, then that is great! I am so glad the outcome of ignorance and/or lack of empathy doesnmt rub you the wrong way. I'm hoping you meet you guys at that level of confidence shortly. For now, unfortunately, I still feel uncomfortable (with a hint of self loathing) when someone gets annoyed at me for asking to go through the check out at the store for me. I'd rather someone told me no then have them do it reluctantly, making it obvious they think i'm being stupid and a burden.
I'd love to be friends with people with different strengths and weaknesses as me so we could help each other out. Because of this barrier of misunderstanding, it makes it more difficult to do that. I want to be friends with people who don't look down on me for not having a job. I want people in my life who help me get to a place where I can.
For this, and most things in life, empathy is the key.
