I am a self proclaimed empath. You've probably heard the term, but just in case, I will explain.
The google definition is, "a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual." Which pretty much sums it up. There are different types of empaths, but it all comes down to feeling what others feel. Some might say this is fake, it's just a label for people who want to feel important. Others consider it a gift people are born with, and we are 'lightbringers' meant to heal the earth.
I heard this terms a few years ago and identified with it, but mainly kept it to myself. And recently I've been thinking about it a lot, and what it really means. I have no doubt it is real, but is it a choice? Can an empath stop being an empath? Can someone become one? Is it based on your values, connection, how in tune you are with the world and it's vibration. So here are my thoughts.
I think people are capable of changing, but only if they really want to. For the most part, empaths don't want to. Even when it gets difficult, I think it's a problem we want to deal with. It's a step up from being apathetic, self involved, oblivious to how others feel, and being free to hurt them. We want to be empaths because lots of the problems in the world are caused by people who lack empathy. We suffer, but in the end it is worth it, because it is also something that encourages (almost forces) us to help others. It comes down to values. We value empathy, regardless of the cost.
Maybe it's not the same for everyone, but this is what I've experienced and seen in others. We cling to the label empath and love to connect with others. It's not a trait we dislike or see as a flaw. So that's why I don't think empaths can ever stop being empaths. If one is struggling with it, the solution is to get a better handle over it, not to give it up. Setting aside time to recharge and learning to say no will go a long way.
I've also been playing around with the idea that being an empath is a choice. I know people have different opinions on this, and I'm not sure where I stand yet. As I mentioned, some consider themselves lightworkers, as if they were sent into this world to help people. It's their destiny and they can't fight it. And I think that is a beautiful concept. But I also think that it comes down to our values, and our connection with the universe and all those in it. Maybe everyone is capable of picking up on other peoples vibrations like we do, but they aren't quite tuned into it. This would mean everyone's capable of being an empath. Still, it's not a road that would be easy to come back from, which makes me think of the phrase, "Once you're awake, it's hard to do back to sleep."
For me, it wasn't much of a choice. I have been highly empathetic and sensitive to what those around me are feeling my entire life. I've denied it, hidden it, tried to suppress it to focus on myself, and it got me nowhere. Once I knew that I was an empath, I did make a few choices. Even if I hid it from others, I wouldn't from myself. I learned how to identify emotions that were not my own, and how to let go of them before they could become destructive. I also felt better about saying no needing time alone to recharge, because didn't view these things negatively. I stopped feeling weak for getting drained by someone else's problems. I stopped feeling guilty about caring for myself.
In this sense, I do believe I made decisions. I chose to embrace it but to have control too. I did this because I valued the ability to understand others, and I knew it would make me a better person.
I'm an empath, by choice or by fate.
