I am a university student studying in Singapore.
Back when I enrolled, I was a naive teenager, who thinks that getting a degree course will set me on a path for good life. When I thought about a good life, I thought of having a comfortable, high paying job. I didn't expect a big house or a car, but a decently high paying job.
The modules were difficult yet I tried my best to push through.
And now in my first semester of final year, I start to regret coming to university.
In short, I drew the short straw for my Final Year Project(FYP).
I have a professor supervising my FYP and he is toxic in every way. Every encounter is practically a confrontation with him. There are even times when such encounter are no different from an interrogation. He is like the most toxic boss you can imagine.
While it is my decision to choose that project, maybe it is my fault for not getting to know the character of that professor.
My stress and anxiety built up and I tried finding ways to change my current situation. I tried to change my supervisor but my request got declined. I even went for counseling, but the fact still remains that I still need to meet him.
Not to mention that the modules in my current semester are way, Way, WAY more difficult than before its not even funny. I could not keep up with this anymore.
Now depression hit me and hit me hard.
I realized that university is not for me and my current situation is also bad for my mental health. I have not felt this depressed before. I am getting desperate day by day.
I am considering dropping out and I am afraid to talk to my family about this. After all, they are supporting me to go to university.
For some reason I can share this on this blog. Still, I feel embarrassed.
Thanks to how I am feeling, I am taking a step back and think about the education system more critically, questioning myself. Do expect me to talk about education system.
What I am feeling now may also be a wake up call for me to devise another plan for the future.
I am sorry that the second post has to be a depressing post.