My baby is now 18 and will graduate soon then what?

I been a mom my whole adult life. I was an emancipated minor at the age of 16 and was living on my own for nearly 2 years when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest child. I gave birth to her 6 and 1/2 months after I turned 18. I had a great childhood till I was 12 and things changed for me. That is a different story for another time, but because of things that happened over a 4 year period I became a legal adult at 16.

I partied way too much after being emancipated

Nothing too hard or anything a little of experimenting to see what the hype was about. Mainly I stayed drunk or stone during that two year period as a legal adult but still very much a child. To be honest I think that getting pregnant with my oldest daughter likely saved my life in more ways than one. When I first found out I started considering my options I thought I was way too young to be a mother. But as I started to really thinking what all those options truly meant I knew none of those options were going to be right for me.

So I had to grow up, I made mistakes along the way, but I didn't do too bad for being a young mom

I know I made mistakes along the way. But I think I did pretty good growing up fast. I sold magazines door to door around the country when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter. I did that for a while before coming home to get prenatal care. Once I came home I found a job working for the summer for a carnival that just traveled around my state, where I could be close enough to go to the doctors. Once my daughter was born I went back on the magazine crew. My job title had changed from agent to ad runner (meaning I got a promotion to hiring people and could take my daughter with me) It was salary and included my room.

But that wasn't enough money when you are living on the road.

So I got my bosses wife to watch my daughter so I could go out part of the week to sell magazines so I could also afford to do things with my daughter and not just survive. Eventually I had a nanny traveling with me. As it was easier for all involved. I did this for a year traveling the country with my daughter. Her first year of life she traveled to 32 states and to 2 other countries. (just Mexico and Canada) Then one day I decided as much as I loved the travel, I needed to go home, so my daughter could know her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Single mom starting from scratch

When I got back home, I had a hard time finding a job. Something had changed in the job market in the 3 years since I have looked for traditional work. I had started selling magazines 6 months after being emancipated. Now no one in the area wanted to hire people without a high school diploma. Funny how when you don't have a job how quickly what savings you have can get drained. Before long I was down to a half pack of diapers, a gallon of milk and $2 to my name. That is when a friend of mine suggested stripping. She was a stripper and was making good money. I was desperate and didn't want to go on welfare as I knew there is no way to support a child on what they give you. So I went to work with her.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be

In my head I had misconceptions about that industry. And though in some cases what you think of a stripper can be true. In most cases it isn't. Many times it is single moms and college students trying to one either support their children or pay for school without having to go $100K in debt for their degrees. The clubs I worked in did not have women being forced to work there. They were all there on their own free will.

Something surprising happened.

Before I started working in the clubs I had a low self esteem. I did not consider myself attractive or beautiful. But slowly I started to realize I was those things. Not just inside but outside too. I know it shouldn't have taken stripping to show me that, but it did something wonderful for me it gave me self confidence. It allowed me to discover a part of myself I didn't know. It gave me a power that I didn't know I had. That everyone does have inside themselves. But the world and experiences when we are young dampens that part, and for some of us, something has to happen to show them their perspective was wrong. It let me discover a strength I didn't know I had. I danced for two years only stopping after I became pregnant with my second child.

I had my second child then 361 days later had my 3rd and final child

My last two children came a little close together. They are 361 days apart. Hive account@charisma777 use to tease me about that. HAHA her two boys are even closer in age they my two youngest children. I now tease her about that. But I have put my everything into raising my children. I am always trying to think outside the box to make sure my kids have what they need and some of their wants.

Thinking outside the box

I am one of those type of people that like to think outside the box. So once I stopped stripping I need a way to make money. By this time I had met my son's father and married him and we had moved to CA because my ex husband joined the military shortly after we got married. He had a good job at the time he joined up and the pay decrease was not something we were prepared for. And Childcare for 3 children was not in our reach. Hive account@charisma777 had gifted me a candle making kit before we moved. I decided to take the kit and make some candles as the area we lived in had rolling black outs. I took the ones I made to a local bar and sold out. Took half the money I made and bought more supplies and my new business was born.

Moving made me change gears

Slowly my first marriage was falling apart. We had major communication issues, that even therapy didn't help. I left, filed for divorced and came back home with my children to start all over once again. I decided many things would have to change and one of those things that needed to change is I needed to get my education done, because without it the best hope I had at finding a job would be stripping. and though at the time when I did dance to support my daughter, I didn't know it but I needed it for my self confidence, at this point in my life, I no longer needed that. I needed something much more than that temporary feeling of power and control.

Meeting someone unexpected

As I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life I met someone I wasn't looking for. Hive account@tecnoblast entered my life. He was different from others that I had met before in my life. There was something about him, I can't even explain it. But when I looked into his eyes for the first time my first though was I want him to kiss me. It caught me off guard. I had never met someone before and wanted them to kiss me before ever speaking to the person. My mom says she knew it was love at first sight because apparently every other word was about him when I spoke to her.

With Hive account@tecnoblast encouragement I went back to school

I went back to school with the encouragement of Hive account@tecnoblast. I like to do things backwards. So I enrolled in college for the next semester and then went and enrolled in GED classes. For me when I have a deadline to get things done, it helps me get things done. So I knew I had no choice but to get those classes done and get the score back to the college I enrolled in for the next semester. I did it and that January I was in classes learning about IT and Business. Personally the business courses was a waste of money, I had learned all what I learned in class and more selling magazines door to door for nearly 3 years of my life. And the IT courses too are a waste of money, the IT degree doesn't mean anything in the IT world, it is the certifications and the certifications you can study for on your own free and just schedule the certification testing and pay for just that saving yourself tens of thousands of dollars.

Sales, Sales, Sales and Property management

I have pretty much always been in some type of sales or marketing. Once out of school, it was no different. I sold knives for a while, then moved onto credit card processing services doing business to business sales. Then one of my children got sick. I needed something more flexible, so I started selling Avon and recruiting other sell Avon. (I am a really good recruiter for companies, I just realized this as writing this piece.) With in a few months I was making $2k a month off of those I recruited sales.

This is also the time in our lives that I decided I was going to start home schooling my children. The idea was planted by my daughter's doctor, she was missing a ton of school because of being in the hospital. He suggested it as a way so she wouldn't get behind. I brushed it off at first, but you know what happens when you plant a seed. It spouts. I was unhappy how my son was being treated at school just because he is on the spectrum. The school would not follow an IEP for him. I started thinking maybe I should do what the doctor suggested.

So we started our home schooling journey.

My oldest daughter was in 4th grade, my youngest daughter was in 2nd grade and my son was in 1st grade. I planned on pulling them out the year I did at the end of the semester, but then something happened where a student hit my child in the throat in front of a teacher, it was not provoked, nor did my child retaliate for being hit, but the school was going to suspend her too. Wait for being bullied and hit you are gonna kick out my kid. She didn't do anything but take a punch. When the principal told me that, I looked at him and said no she will be in school Monday. This is your verbal notice to have my kids transcripts ready on Monday I will have it in writing but my kids are being transferred to private home schooling. I grabbed my kids and we left, only going back to get their stuff on that Monday.

I kept selling Avon for a while, then about a year after I started home schooling. I got sick and needed an operation, which they botched and I nearly died. It took me nearly 2 years to fully recover. And by the time I did recover. My Avon business died. You only keep getting money off your down line when you are recruiting a new person once every 8 weeks min. Not being able to go recruit or even get out to sell to my costumers destroyed my business completely.

I didn't let that get me down though, when we needed extra money I was still making candles to sell here and there, and eBay was in business by then, and I discovered I could buy stuff cheap and sell it for a slight profit on the site. So during the two years I was down not able to do much, that is what I did.

Once I started getting better I had the opportunity to property manage. Which also let me to obtaining my own rentals. I lucked into my first property and was able to pick it up for $75 I did have to put another $6K into it to make it livable but I was able to sell it on a rent to own contract and make over $20K off of the deal. Yes I could have made more on it, but I felt like I got a deal and should help make the home ownership dream available to someone who might not be able to do it the traditional way.

I knew someone who was only making $650 a month on disability. He wanted a home really bad, and was tired of his living situations changing because of room mates and his limited income. We were able to strike a deal and out of all the tenants I had through out the year, he was never late with his payment, and he paid his house off in 6 years and now owns it fee and clear.

When we moved we decided to get rid of our rentals as it was too hard to manage them from another town. I was still doing stuff on eBay to make extra money but once we moved I started focusing on it again. The only issues with it really is money doesn't motivate me unless we need it to pay a bill or something and yes there are always bills to pay. I will do the min I need to do to get by if I am not passionate about what I am doing.

I am passionate about photography

I love photography, been working on building clientele and I am slowly growing said clientele, but my biggest issue right now is I don't have studio space and most people don't want to do location photography in the winter time. So I am trying to find other passions. Besides photography and other than writing. Though I love both very much. I don't think at this time it is going to be enough.

What does a multi-tasker like me suppose to do with the free time

When home schooling ends in May. I have no clue what I am going to do with the free time. I want to do some travel photography but till my husband takes off time from work to travel a little but I am stuck with what I can do in a day's drive. I don't know what it is like not to be responsible for little people. And though my baby turned 18 yesterday I am still responsible till he graduates, but May isn't that far off. And currently I am feeling a little lost on what I am suppose to do in the next stage of my life.

Guess time will tell and show me.

Till then I will keep doing what I do. Photography, blogging and selling things on eBay if we need the money for a bill or something. I don't regret putting my career on hold for my children. I would do it all over again in a heart beat. But I think I would take the time to focus more on what I would like to do with my life once the nest is empty. Because I have no plan. And it is hitting me hard.

my three kids

I got a phone call in the middle of writing this post, I lost my train of thought, so I apologize in advance if this piece seems a little choppy. I didn't want to totally waste the time I had already put into this piece. So I tried to finish it up the best I could.