Yeah a deep topic indeed.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit restless. I can't really put my finger on what's causing it.

It’s hard to explain properly, but it’s like my mind is constantly running. So many thoughts, so many things I want to do, so many interests pulling me in different directions. Work, personal life, relationships, goals, everything just feels like it’s happening all at once.

And ofcourse, there’s never enough time.

Invisible boss putting pressure

I wake up thinking about things I should be doing. Things I haven’t started yet. Things I’m already late on. It’s like there is an invisible person constantly giving me pressure. Like I want to do everything, but at the same time I feel stuck.

Today was one of those mornings.

I woke up early, feeling drained and totally not refreshed. So i took a cup of coffee. My mind already busy before I even got out of bed. There was this constant feeling of anxiety, like I’m falling behind in life somehow.

So this is midlife crisis?

Sometimes I wonder if this is what people mean when they talk about a “mid-life crisis”, or maybe just a phase where you start questioning everything. Am I doing the right work? Am I moving in the right direction? Will I actually achieve the things I dream about?

It’s a bit scary to think about.

Work takes up most of the day. And even though I’m doing okay, it doesn’t always feel fulfilling. There are moments where I sit back and think, is this really it? Is this what I’m supposed to be doing long term?

At the same time, I know I should be grateful. I have a job in this economy. Things are not bad. But still, something feels missing.

Maybe it’s just one of those phases. Maybe it will pass.