It's been so long since I've written anything on this platform - 3 months to be exact - and during that time I was really struggling with my mental/emotional well-being. There were lots of thoughts I wanted to say out loud, but I can't, it was just too hard to let it all out, too hard to get it into words, if you know what I mean. But right now, I guess it's safe to say that that episode has been sealed by death.
"Why death?", you may ask. It's because death has opened my eyes to seeing certain things in a different light. Perhaps it's better if I'll just present a run-through of the things that have happened in the past 3 months (or maybe just the gist of it).
The struggle of going home to (maybe) nothing sort of freaked me out. It was hard to think how I'll be able to start again and what not, but with my parent's help, certain things were possible.
Even though one of my main struggles was losing the love I once had for the profession, I guess working with my dad and visiting construction sites, somehow helped me in reviving the lost love I had for my profession. Although it's still not fully restored, but I have managed to accept certain facets of it.
At first, there were times when unwanted thoughts still run through my head, but I guess living in a different environment this time (less adulting), somehow took the pressure off of me and it's as if I'm feeling rejuvenated.
Of course, food trip has been a major part of the dwindling of the negatives.
Just recently, my grandmother passed away and as odd as it may sound, it wasn't really a heavy feeling, probably because she was already 96 and she has been struggling for too long. Somehow, it opened my eyes about certain things, about family relations, personal struggles and such, but I won't really elaborate further. It just sort of helped me look at things in a different perspective and be more open to listening to others while also taking in mind my personal well-being.
-this last photo was from my sister's IG story
*all photos are mine