This has been a burning question in my heart for a very long time and if you are from where I am from, at the stage where I am, then you would understand why this is bothering me.
I am a Yoruba lady from Nigeria and trust me I know I have had it better than most in the “getting married drama” but it doesn’t mean I have been totally excluded either. You see, my parents are practical people and serious educationists, education and hard work would always make the headline in our home any day but then like every Yoruba family they still verily believe I must be well prepared for my husband’s house.
It was not this bad while I was in school, my not cooking all the time was excused, my lack of fashion sense was equally ignored as a good thing, well to them it meant I was being a serious child but to me I didn’t even care at all, I was just always so busy and focused on what I had to do. Now that I have left the university, every step I take ends with is that what you will do for your husband and children and trust me its beginning to really irk me.
I mean, is everything about my life supposed to end in marriage and children? So recently I started asking myself some serious questions about the whole thing. I was really sincere to myself, I realized marriage does not excite me one bit, I don’t see myself as a wife or mother, it looks totally out of place and it feels like something too much for my kind of person. Honestly, I don’t really like babies, of course I love all the baby laughter and plays and baby faces but when they start crying and screaming and messing up everywhere I feel like hiding.
I have never been the kind of person to be totally into the relationship stuff, well the first time I relly did I got seriously burnt and every other time it just scatters before its started so I was thinking if I cant handle that how the hell am I supposed to handle marriage.
Another irritating thing is the fuss about the whole thing, like its some major achievement or something, really its nice that you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with but don’t try to push it on me like that should be the next thing on my mind. When I say stuffs like this people scream like its some sort of abomination. It might bring some people satisfaction and so much joy but it just feels like one of those things to me. And if you look at the African setting sef its not all that encouraging, its patterned in the way for the woman to just keep working her head off- well even if I do settle down I think some serious change of that African mindset must be involved in the home- anyways, this is not the bottom line of this post.
The bottom line is this- I decided to ask some questions around and I am throwing it open to Steemit too.
IS MARRIAGE FOR EVERYONE?
I mean, can it be that some people were simply not wired for marriage? Is everyone supposed to get married? Is it a taboo to decide to do without the marriage drama and adopt a child instead as a way of helping the overpopulated humanity?
These are burning questions in my mind and I really hope I can get some answers and opinions from steemians, please do let me know what you think.
Your upvotes are important and much appreciated but in this case your comments are most needed…don’t forget to resteem too…much loveeee