Since as far back as I can remember I have been haunted by this horrible reoccurring nightmare.
Its a Carnival... In a dark burning abyss under the ground. It has all of the Carnival rides, the demonic carnies, and tortured souls as patrons. Worst of all the murderous clowns and the ring master himself, Satan.
Now over the years this nightmare has changed ever so slightly. How do I explain? I guess it’s like different episodes and situations. The more my brain was polluted with the evil in this world the more horrible the Nightmare became! But always the same characters, the same noises; the blood curdling screams, the howling of carnival rides., The sinister laughter and death metal. Always set in the very dark, flaming abyss under the ground. It always started with the grand tour by the gatekeeper and ended with shit going extremely bad.
This has always brought me a great deal of anxiety. As a child I would awake from these terrors. My heart would be beating a million miles a minute. I would be sweating and crying and be way to frightened to go back to sleep. To scared to move from my bed or even look around me. Once that imagination was awoken in the night all dreamworld and reality would be hell, so to speak. I would be too scared to try and sleep for days after. Sitting in bed all alone with my thoughts would never help. The Nightmares would sometimes be every night for a week, then be months if not years until the next episode. To this day I go to a very dark place in my mind when I think of it. It was so hard for a little boy to go through this, alone for the most part.
I would bring the images that were burned into my psyche to all my day to day activites. This first became public knowledge to my art teacher in grade school. She asked us to draw a picture of our life. I was always quite an artist. I can still remember her mouth drop when she seen what was in my head. The next to see was the local psychologist. “The terrors may be coming from what’s going on in my home life”, she said . Also he must have an overactive imagination. “Where was this stuff coming from?” I would ask myself. I came from a pretty religious family and was never allowed to watch horror movies or anything like that.
I did have many other reoccurring dreams as well. Not always bad ones. Many, I have found to be premonitions later in life. I have found that a lot of my dreams when I was young would be the transcript of my life to come. To try and lessen my confusion in this all I spoke to a psychic. I learned a lot of myself that day and made some of the pieces fit. He told me that I have always been what they call a “sensitive”. He also told me how to control these dreams to make them a little less traumatizing. With a lot of practice that helps quite a bit!
As an adult I have became much less ”sensitive” and rarely ever have THE nightmare. This is what the psychic said would happen... eventually. Still, I constantly have moments in life that reveal what some of the dreams were trying to tell me. It’s almost overwhelming when I finally meet the characters from those dreams I had so many years ago. Live the vivid scenarios from dreams many years past. I have blown minds of people very close to me when it occurs.
Thanks for reading! All the images were collected from google images and altered by me for some added visualization.Please send me any comments or criticisms you may have. Yours truly; Hive account@undergroundman
