This is still an unfinished draft I began writing a few months ago. Hope it helps someone in some way
We all have moments in our lives when we start asking questions about what we do on our daily basis and how much of a sense it makes for our individual and collective happiness. Does the job we do help us feel better about ourselves and give us that enriching feeling that we’re growing and getting better every day? Is it useful for society and therefore brings us a feeling of prestige and honor for doing a public service?
Well, I like to think of depression and existential anguish as consequences for uncertainty in regards to these answers. Everything in this world of ours has pros and cons, and the trade-off itself must be acceptable in order to be able to carry on. Most of the times a better paid job also involves more responsibility and longer working hours that seldom bring satisfaction or gratification, while low-paid jobs mean struggle, disillusionment and frustration.
We must always seek that middle way in regards to what we do and how we manage our time, yet the extremes can become hard to distinguish and at many points stress and dissatisfaction can become an unhealthy yet comforting norm. Furthermore, where exactly is that balance and how can anyone just find it?
And it isn’t just about the money: our own happiness in regards to the role that we have in society is crucial for a healthy, prosperous, and productive life. Friends, family, education and other social and cultural factors play a large role in our life, shape our perception of the world and can be simultaneously a comfortable refuge and a destructive environment of self-indulgence and lack of motivation.
Usually, when I’m depressed about my life, I think about what I would be doing if I had all the time and money in the world to pursue my dreams... then make plans to see how I can get there!
And just like many other people, I’m well aware that results don’t really make me happy and I seldom feel satisfied about something that I legitimately accomplish. I always seem to get that “Is this it? I’ve spent all that time for this moment and now what?” feeling and it’s hard for me to enjoy the destination.
That’s why I’m trying to enjoy the ride and make the way to the top worthwhile, notable, and fulfilling according to my standards and expectations. If the process is a complete letdown, then no end result can have a sweet taste. And similarly, if too much work is put into something and the expectations are proportionally high, then disappointment is mostly guaranteed.
So how can an overthinker like myself find enjoyment in life and bring