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Today we're going to take a look at happiness and why some people seem to struggle with it, it's just so happens that one of my friends is a psychologist and I've asked her input into why people these days seem to be so unhappy, what are the small things in life that if you slightly adjust would make you live a happier life? I took the discussion and structured it, so it's easier to follow, when I go through the reasons, please keep in mind that each reason by itself isn't a single reason for unhappiness but combine a couple of these into your everyday life, and you'd be able to see how that affects your mood and your state of mind, please take these with a grain of salt as situations vary from one individual to another and I recommend you read this post till the end before you decide to voice a strong opinion in the comments.
Here are some things that take away from your happiness or reasons why you may be unhappy.
You think money will make you happy
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Money doesn't have anything to do with happiness, money has to do with comfort, security, and freedom.
If you're not happy when you're poor, you'll not be happy when you're rich
Let that sink in for a second and really think about it; happiness is internal, it's your attitude towards life.
Happiness occurs when your expectations meet your reality
Please be careful how you use this information, it might break some while others will grow from it.
You think just because you were born, you deserve to be happy
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The level of entitlement people have these days is mind-blowing, everyone thinks that just because at some point their parents had sex and they were winning sperm, the world owes them everything. Reality check, the world doesn't owe you shit, you're not entitled to being happy, you're not entitled to success, nobody has to give you anything . It's funny that we're at a point in our society where you actually need to explain to people that they need to work hard to achieve the things they want. You want money, work, you want to be happy work towards happiness, you want people to like you, guess what? You need to work on that also. Funny how this point turned into a Rhianna's song; work work work
You think that other people should make you happy
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I had to expand on this, since most of the people who are struggling with happiness believe that other people should bring happiness into their lives, which is total bullshit, yes being in a positive relationship has its perks and exponentially grows the level of happiness that is already there but you need to be happy in the first place. I've heard it said so many times; "dude I'd be happy when I get myself a girlfriend", or on the female side; "I'm going to be so happy after he asks me to marry him". I return to our number one rule;
If you're not happy before, you're not going to be happy afterwards
Nobody wants to be with an unhappy individual, so the solution to your problem is to make peace with yourself and be happy just the way you are, people are attracted to happiness.
You expect life to be like you've seen in movies
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Remember what I said earlier in this post; "happiness is when your reality meets your expectations" OK, I'd be really honest with you and this might hurt, not everybody gets to be Chadwick Boseman, your life isn't a scripted movie, where everything just falls in line for you to be happy in the end, shit will happen and there's an actual chance that you'd end up miserable if you don't do something about it. Many people live through life without doing the work or positioning themselves as a potential lead, but they have the expectations of one, that's when your reality doesn't match the expectations and you end up unhappy. Instead of dreaming of what ifs, you should work with what you've got and make the best out of your actual reality.
You watch too much TV
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Here we go again, believe it or not there us very little happiness on TV, the majority of newscast are meant to shock you to keep you on alert so you continue watching, very few positive news stories make it on TV and when they do, they get consumed by all the negative ones, for example despite terrorism being an all time low right now considering the past fifty years, due to media coverage you'd think the world has gone mad, this is meant to scare you, because people who are scared are easier to control, scared people also have a negative view on life and turn out to be less happy, which again makes them more obedient and more likely to accept an invasion into their freedom in exchange for a bit of security.
You spend too much time on social networks
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From TV we move on to facebook, instagram and snap chat, what do you do there, you stalk other people who showcase how amazing their life is. The problem with social media is that it's an environment where people choose to showcase only the positives in their lives, people put up the reality they wish to portray online, you rarely see the struggles, the pain, the suffering, the sleepless nights, the depression, nobody wants to seem vulnerable, yet they choose to showcase their success, their happiness and you end up believing that's all there is to their lives, when compared to yours it seems like you're falling short.
You have bad relationships with your siblings and family
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People underestimate the power of a strong support group and family is probably the strongest one there is. There are very few people out there who care more about you than your family, your spouse included. Despite the media pushing the being an individual agenda, there is so much power in a strong family bond that people fail to recognize, not all families are created equal and believe it or not, most of them are kinda screwed up in at least a few ways, but amazing things happen when you overcome that and build happiness together .
You don't pursue happiness, you create it
