What a weird and weirder dream, I remember having had last night
It started with me trying over and over, to get 'the good guys' to do right
I kept on typing #releasethememo, but apparently 'they' thought better
And instead found the time and resources, to go searching for my letter
What a weird twist that became, why would the military hack my computer?
I've revealed enough of my secrets, if they really feel the need to neuter
Anyways, when my first girlfriend dumped me, naturally, I had a hard time
And I wrote a pretty harsh letter, not bothering then, to worry about “rhyme”
Handing it directly to her dad, while making sure to avoid her mother
I also requested my first love to call me, only if she wanted to bother
Honestly, I was just ahead of the times, I swear, I really wasn't a stalker
But only a pre-internet troll, you know, just a gentleman shit-talker
Anyways, I went my own way then, never again really expecting to see
My sweetie, well she joined the army...damn, now she could really hurt me!
She became military intelligence apparently, two decades later now, I heard
From the friend of a mutual friend, through that site with the yappy blue bird
And they were recommending that I call her, my once-again single sweetie
Hell no to that! I replied, but, tell her I might answer back her tweetie
Well, the romance surely was dead, but we caught each other up on a lot
And we rekindled an old friendship, while sharing some classic, chronic BC pot
What a strange dream this was to have had, what provoked it I don't know
Maybe there's a plane with my name on it, waiting to take me to Guantanamo!
People often wonder when their nightmares will end, and new reality begins
It's when we recognize, apologize for and then forgive ourselves for our sins
So, two very different paths taken, both trying to prevent the world from ruin
Well, um—how are your dreams going, and how is your first love doing?!