It's been 5 days since the best thing I had walked off.., I guess I saw it coming yet preferred denial. We're still texting back and fourth a bit and even saying I love you. We're talking about getting back together but both agree we need time apart. Our relationship started out perfect, we actually met in middle school and never really hung out, we chatted back and fourth on the phone and MySpace and eventually lost touch. We didn't cross paths in highschool and randomly when I was 20 she messages me on Facebook. We hadn't spoke in years. I was ecstatic to be honest. We slowly started to hangout and date and eventually got together after 6 months and she moved in with me. Started out amazing, we moved into a nice loft in downtown dallas, then I leave a job, and we have to move around and go through different jobs, we're making various poor decisions and partying to much and I guess it really all started there, and it didn't help that she doesn't get along with my mother so that can be pretty stressful as well. I guess over four years we just got to stressed and strung out. Coke isn't like herion or anything but it's lame when you stop doing it, kinda like smoking cigs or drinking when you have to give it up it kinda ticks you off, so you're on edge and pissed off withdrawling and bad aditudes spew negative shit at other people. Then you sober up and regret it.. yeah that's a good description.
I guess I don't know where any of this is going. We split up mutually so we don't break up on bad terms hoping to get our shit together and come back to each other and start over.
I hope that happens. I'm starting to feel better though. And about 5 days sober so that's good too.
(The beginning stages are rocky in this story but I think they'll get better.)
- Monte