Hi Shane,
I can so relate to everything you have shared here, even though my life experiences are different to yours the feelings of not being good enough ran through everything I did too. They were the backdrop from which I was trying to live a happy contented life...not easy. I did it so badly my children and I ended up in a women's refuge.
Then from rock bottom in 2011 I came across an understanding of the mind
My life has changed so much that I have sold my house to fund me being able to share this understanding with as many people as I can. If you want to go look at my website www.debrasimmons.co.uk. If you want to know more just ask... lots of love