This photograph shows a maple tree I am training for bonsai.
It's had a rough year. One of the branches snapped off earlier this year when I tried to wire it. Further up another branch has wrinkled up and withered. The branch never had enough strength to finish opening the buds it developed over the winter.
Keeping the old branch is a bit pointless, as it will eventually flake away and become a breeding ground for insects, rot, and disease.
With my pruners, I made a clean cut and removed the branch as if it was never there.
Sometimes working on my trees I am reminded about some tough life lessons I have learned too.
This tree in its current state, honestly I did not even want to share these photos with anyone. I am ashamed, embarrassed, and regretful. Perhaps I have failed.
It makes me wonder if I was not experienced enough in my knowledge to properly take care of this tree. I wanted this tree to have many lateral branches along the trunk, and instead it does the opposite. It spites me with my inexperience by leaving behind wounds I never intended to cause.
Perhaps this is a bit like the relationship of a parent to their son or daughter. We often try to control the situation and make things better, only to find that we have caused the exact outcome we were trying to prevent. If only we had tried reverse psychology, maybe things could have been different.
No, I think not. In a way every person, tree, and animal I believe is fated to become a reflection of the essence of their true self. Sure, others can modify the environment, but they can never control the true soul. With every molecule of one's being, the soul cannot be stopped from wanting to simply be.
Dare I say, even people wrought with painful diseases or severe psychological turmoil might opt for an early death, but not to die, instead hoping to release their soul from the prison walls this mortal life has formed against their will.
A mortal person can never fully know the true design of another person's soul, and they would be a fool to think that they can alter it.
This bonsai tree is a maple tree. It is a native species that prefers to grow up to 8 meters tall. In a small pot and enduring my constant meddling with its natural growth habits, how can its DNA hope to evolve and adapt to build a strong tree without the deep root space it is designed to occupy? While I tried to make it grow low branches, its wild instincts were to abandon the juvenile weak branches, and grow new ones to help it reach new heights.
In the future, I think I will be allowing this tree to grow inside a much larger pot. It has outgrown this one and the soil is nearly completely saturated with moss. Perhaps I will even need to be more gentle with the tree, and allow it to grow without many additional fertilizers. Let it grow without wire to guide its future shape. Let it grow without my pruners to clean up its broken limbs.
A tree is resilient, but only if it is allowed to be.
Perhaps this tree and I are not failures. I will allow it to live a good life as long as it chooses to live, and I will appreciate it for whatever true form it chooses to take while in my care.
Photos in this post are all #originalworks by , unless stated otherwise.
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