Lessons For The Woman Who Is Tired Of Getting Her Heart Broken: A Series Written By A Serial Monogamist (Part 1)
FOREWORD: Hey Everyone! So, I will be releasing sections of my book on my blog and here on Steemit! How To Be Single is a fresh perspective on life, love, and self empowerment. I genuinely don't know how I would describe this book just yet since it's still being developed so I would LOVE some feedback on your take on it. As of now, it's written in a similar style as Mark Manson's The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck and Jen Sincero's You Are A Badass.
It's your "Not So Typical" personal development book with a series of hilarious (true), inspiring stories and lessons that I have experienced throughout my twenties on my quest to find love. Along the way, I discovered the happiness and fulfillment I desired in the most backwards, counterintuitive way you'd imagine. This book is a series of stories and lessons written by a serial monogamist, a hopeless romantic, and a total hot mess... me!
Although I cannot guarantee it will be posted in sequential order, it will still be written in cohesive sections so you will still get some closure after each read. I plan to write sections that will take about 10-15 min to read so I hope you can follow along easily!
So if you like what I have to say, relate in some way, or feel like someone you know would love it or related to it, then PLEASE make sure to Follow and Subscribe on my Blog and share this with your communities!
And for anyone wondering, yes, that is me in the book cover photo...
BLOG: www.LifeInLovery.com
Thanks Everyone! Keep reading for Part 1 of How To Be Single and stay tuned each week for a new section.
How To Be Single: PART 1
I love relationships. I think being in a relationship is the best thing in the world.
Finding someone that makes your heart feel like it just ran a 5k without even having to go to the gym…
That person that makes you become completely antisocial when you’re out with your friends because you’re too busy texting one another…
That person that agrees to actively participate in your hobbies… like go to a hot yoga class…
Even though it’s just an excuse to see him sweaty without his shirt off… or finally pick up acro-yoga...
When you find someone you can do all that cute couple-y crap you see everyone doing on social media, like take cute #FitCouple pictures at the gym, and go to brunch without plastered on bottomless mimosas, finally visit a pottery barn without the sales person feeling sorry for you after you’ve been “just looking” every time, or finally receiving a wedding invitation with a +1 on it!
Heck yeah! Being in a relationship is awesome!
But it’s not always unicorns and rainbows. Sure, it all starts off that way but then after some time… shit starts to get real.
After a while you’ll reach that phase where you can finally just be yourself and let your freak flag fly!
Bye bye makeup! Hello sweatpants!
Eventually you’ll be wondering why you can no longer fit into your skinny jeans, then you’ll realize all those things you once thought were cute and endearing about him are now annoying AF, and then you’ll accidentally blurt out that you hate his mother…
And before you know it you’re having the same fight over and over and over again until the inevitable happens…
You break up.
Story of my life.
But no matter how many times I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve never given up on love. When one relationship failed I’d pick myself up, take a bomb-ass selfie, then put myself out there and try again.
So much, in fact, that my relationship history has just turned into a big joke with my family.
Every year my family spends Thanksgiving at our cousin’s ranch in Lake Tahoe. I have a pretty big family so every year there is an open invitation for us to bring guests.
So, I, of course, will always invite my current beau to join us for the holiday.
Being the romantic that I am, I always go into my next relationship with the hope that “he is the one”. I mean, can you blame me for being such an optimist on love? I’d rather go in to each relationship with an open mind and open heart and anticipate that this relationship is finally going to be the one that sticks than go into a relationship like a wounded old spinster: Bitter and thinking every man is “the devil” only to wind up swearing off men all together and become a lesbian, or to become a viral headline at the announcement of your death…
“Lonely Woman Found Dead In Her Reclining Chair. Face Eaten By Her 14 Cats”
But over the years, my family continued to meet guy after guy, and whether or not this guy would make it to next Thanksgiving would be the big laugh of the weekend.
I know it sounds kind of pathetic, right?
Well, no matter how pathetic and sad it sounds, I never let their jokes dictate my quest for love.
As I’m sitting here writing this story, I can’t help but notice that there is still no ring on this damn finger of mine.
But you know what? That’s fine with me. Because right now I’m in the healthiest, most successful, satisfying, and fulfilling relationship I’ve ever been in. And I don’t need a ring on my finger to determine my level of happiness or to remind me that im almost 29 and still not married.
But I don’t think I would haven been able to get where I am today without learning one very important lesson. Well, one very important lesson that turned into series of lessons that would change the course of my life, and how I love, forever.
They say that in order to truly love someone you need to learn to truly love yourself first. It’s one of those phrases that’s been tossed around so many different times and rephrased by so many different people that no one really knows the origin. But no matter who wrote it, it’s the most real advice that you could ever read if you want to experience true fulfillment in life, and in love.
Maybe you’re reading this right now and you’ve already found the love of your life and you might be thinking to yourself that this series of lessons won’t apply to you…
But I want to encourage you to read on, because no matter what your relationship status is, I PROMISE you will learn something about yourself that you didn’t already know before.
Because these lessons are for anyone that feels like there is a small piece of themselves missing. For anyone that wants to create a life of abundance and fulfillment in more ways than just finding love. And for anyone that is ready to invite a positive change into their life.
And this lesson is one of the most important things you can do for your personal growth…
And that is learning how to be happy and fulfilled in life, alone.
Completely alone…
Relationship Status: Single, not ready to mingle.
It took me a LONG time before I realized why learning how to be single was so important.
Like most high school girls, I started dating when I was about 16 years old. I’d date a guy and expect everything to be like it was in the movies. Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl fall in love. And then Boy and Girl live happily ever after.
When I was with my first boyfriend, I lived in this fantasy world where I thought “Nothing can tear us apart! We’re gonna be together forever!”… until the slutty girl from the all-girls high school put her tongue down his throat…
(*Enter: Maury Povich)… and then I realized the reality of the dating world. That dating was like a baby learning how to eat with a fork: Messy, unpredicable, dramatic, and will most likely end up in a fit of tears.
But that didn’t stop yours truly from puttin’ herself out there! And when I say “put myself out there”, what I really mean to say is that I turned out to be a serial monogamist. Yup, that’s right… This girl loves herself a good ‘ol long term, serious commitment! The only problem was I always seemed to end up with these loser guys that just weren’t on the same page as me.
So, leave it to me to be “the one that will finally change them” and stick around through all the bullshit they put me through (I’m not even lying I’m literally laughing out loud right now because of how stupid and naiive I used to be).
Fast forward 12 years… Looking back, there was really only one time within all those years I can say I was actually “single”. And I’m not counting the few weeks or months of going on dates before the next “boyfriend” came along. I’m talking about being truly single. No dates. No prospects. No flirty texting… nothing.
“Liz, party of one?”
Yup, siiiiiiiiiiingle.
So, when was the last time I was actually single?
Well, my story on how being single completely changed my perspective on life and how it helped me discover “who I am” happened after one of the hardest breakups I’ve ever experienced…
Tune in next week for Part 2