Today, I am gonna talk about a book called " How To Win Friends and Influence People " by Dale Carneige. This book was published in the year 1936, it's surprising that something written so long ago is still applicable. Coming to the content, the book can be broke down in four parts, I will talk about one aspect in every part.
Part 1: Fundamental Techniques In Handling People.
In this part Carnegie talks about his hobby which is fishing, he tells that the just the way he likes berries and cream the fish liked worms. That's the reason we use worms as bait and not berries.
Now this is how we can implement it in our lives, suppose that you are a fitness trainer you wouldn't say that Building Customer Base is your objective rather you would say "Hey, I will help you lose weight, i will train with you, i will be there for you in your journey of getting fit I will guide you to your dream physique", by saying this you let your client know that he understands what they want and is willing to provide it for them.
We Rise By Lifting Others
-Robert Ingersoll
If you approach people by thinking from their perspective, they'll be interested in you.
You fulfill your goals through their path to success
Part 2: Different Ways To Make People Like You.
When was the last time you asked your Doctor about his personal life where were they born, how was their upbringing, when was the last time you found yourself in a place where you asked your co-worker how their weekend was but didn't pay any attention to the stuff they talked about?
When you are genuinely interested in talking with people it will lead you to conversations that you never had. Even the seemingly boring people like clerks, librarians can have great story like may be they rescued someone from drowning, ran a marathon, met a super-star, you never know the kind of interesting stories all the people have. When you are Genuinely interested in a conversing with someone you could make Everlasting Deep-Rooted Connections.
Part 3: How To Win People Into Your Way of Thinking
What do you do when you find yourself in position where you made a mistake and the other person just freaks out?
Suppose that you work as a pizza delivery guy and one day something went wrong and at the end of the day your boss is shouting at you for being irresponsible and that one pizza costs twice your hourly pay and how he would deduct a couple hours of work the next week and he might go on to say that you can't work here anymore? what should you do in such situation?
What if you admit your mistake even before your boss notices anything, what if you start with "I feel so bad for what happened today, how can I be so irresponsible, today I forgot to take cash from a customer, It costs like twice the amount of my hourly pay and I think you should deduct 4 times that amount from my salary, how can I be so irresponsible, I feel so terrible about this", by doing this, that is putting yourself in punishment the other person feels that they have to defend you instead of punishing you.
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
-Bruce Lee
So, the next time you are in a situation where you're wrong don't try to defend, just admit and own your mistake.
Step 4: How To Change People Without Giving Offense or Resentment.
Suppose that you were a smoker and someone close to you like your brother, sister or wife say that they wanna try a cigarette, instead of bashing them about the bad effects smoking has and why they shouldn't do it, hold the card of empathy tell them that it was the worst decision you ever made and couldn't get out of it, even if you want to, that you wish you could quit, that you wish you had never started in the first place, the persistent cough that bothers you. This way they could empathize with you. Always talk about your own mistakes first.
These are the few things I wanted to share with every one today.
Dale Carneige wrote books on self-improvement and interpersonal skills, check out his work for more information