My ex-boyfriend of 5 years and I just recently broke up three days ago. I’m 22; he’s 23, we don’t live together.
I have always been kind to him; he’s even said that I’m the best he’ll ever have and nobody can stop me.
The thing is, early on in our relationship he used to compare me to other girls asking me to dress or look like them. He would always search for other girls and ogle other girls when were in public. He would also compliment other girls and hardly praise me in the past.
So I’ve become insecure, and anytime he does something fishy I become triggered and thus break up with him. Everyone has always said that I am too good for him, and even I know I am, but his past mistakes have made me feel like I am not enough for him and he is not satisfied with me. I have never caught him being unfaithful until possibly recently.
I spent a long time asking him to be romantic, but he always said he just got too comfortable after five years. Basically, in early January we broke up because I didn’t feel like he was romantic to me anymore, no affection, no sex, no romance, etc. We ended up getting back together, and he promised to be more romantic.
Shortly after I noticed he was messaging an old female friend, the same female that stayed in his facebook search history for two years. I confronted him, and he said that she was just an old friend that lived down the street from him, but either way, I ended up breaking up with him over it. We eventually back together, he ended up deleting her, and she’s been out of the picture since.
A few weeks passed, and everything was fine. We were happy, but I saw him following a random girl who happened to be from a webcam website. He claimed he didn’t know she was a webcam girl yet he liked her pictures, they weren’t provocative. I got mad over it because he has a history of making accounts on live sex or dating websites every time we broke up so I felt like I couldn’t trust him so yet broke up with him again.
The next day I realized the account was a spam account and an old SF 49ers page that got hacked. I apologized to him, and we got back together.
Just recently I even found him following yet another webcam girl who was a real webcam girl with a legit website and everything an when I confronted him he tried to say that he forgot to unfollow her when we got back together. That was not true; he followed her after we got back together. I don’t believe I am controlling; I am just insecure about him not being satisfied with me/possibly cheating.
These past few weeks he has lost interest. He couldn’t even say he misses me or loves me. He has told me that he became numb and didn’t know why he feels like he lost interest and maybe all the fighting is what caused him to feel this way. He said he wants to be with me, but at the same time, he would rather be alone. I asked him if he needed time and he said yes but wasn’t sure how much.
I begged to make it work and make changes, but he still preferred to be alone, so we agreed to part ways for good after five years. I can tell we both didn’t want to, but that’s the decision he made. This is the first time he’s ever broke up with me instead of me doing the breaking up.
Now that we are broken up he went ahead and followed over 50 explicit webcam girls and models. I am not sure if he is in contact with them or just following them for fun.
But I have not moved on and still have hope. At this point, I’m wondering if it’s a good idea to give him more time alone or reach out to him and ask to make it work. I’m afraid the time apart will make him lose more interest in me rather than him miss me. I don’t want to lose him, we both wanted a future together, but I’m lost as to what to do right now. Every time I broke up with him, he has fought for me/didn’t give up, and now I’m not sure if I should do the same or give him the space he wants?
I believe what we had was real love, and we both genuinely love each other but is curiosity, and my insecurity got the best of us
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