Change is hard and almost impossible. It is painful in every way whether voluntary or forced. Most people rather die than change. Are you one of them?
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When people want to change, they try to do it through physical actions. If they want to quit smoking, they will literally avoid smoking or even the slightest things that could remind them of the addiction. It could work for sometime but this strategy won't last long. Because changing the action is like treating the symptoms of the disease without actually targeting the root cause of it.
Changing any habit must start on changing the mind and the paradigm. When the mind is changed, the actions will follow effortlessly and painlessly. Real change must start on the inside. But most people change their outside activities and actions, hoping for a permanent change to happen. They use will power to restrict themselves of the habitual action and trust that it is strong enough to overcome any formed habit.
Willpower is like a rubber band. You can stretch as far as you want with all the painful effort, only to find out that it will break and go back to its original form.
The notion of "no pain, no gain" is not applicable here. In fact, the mind works best when it is relaxed. Whether you are studying or building something, you can achieve peak performance by being relaxed and calm. There is an argument that defies those people who are more effective when they are cramming. How come they function at their best when they are near the deadline? Simple principle- FOCUS Their minds are focused on task completion. Their focus overpowers the tension and pressure that they feel. It's true that pressure can be a driver of someone to focus. In that case, there is both the presence of focus and pressure. They can somewhat be effective in delivering the results but there can be a more effective way of completing tasks.
Image if you can discipline your mind to focus and to remain calm at the same time, what would it be like to do the work? Would you bear more results? Is the absence of pressure, which is a negative energy, make your mind clearer and sharper? Imagine how powerful the combination of focus and clarity can be. You can both achieve that through mental practice and discipline. But discipline does not have to be forced and painful. There is a better way, or let me say, the best way to change your brain and mind completely.
But before that, I would like to differentiate the brain and the mind. Brain is the physical structure that resides in our head. While the mind is the activity that happens in the brain. The mind has the ability to shape the brain's structure and connections by constantly repeating a certain activity. Let's say your mind is constantly digging a specific spot in your brain day in and day out. The result would be, a hole in that area of your brain. To make a more relevant illustration, let's say you think of getting fit and healthy every single day. The result would be a connection on your brain that would serve as a blueprint of the healthy person that you want to become. Since the brain holds the central nervous system, it sends signals to every part of your body to function according to its blueprint and command. That's how powerful your thoughts are. Your thoughts are the command that you encode to your body. Therefore, you might as well think about the things that you want.
We are building a path into our brains if we think according to what we want. But it's not enough to think it for once or for one week. 21 days is the ideal time to hard wire the brain to a certain thought habit. Also, to put more power to your thoughts, it must penetrate the subconscious mind deeply.
What is the subconscious mind? It is the part of our mind that never sleeps. It always listening to the conscious mind and environmental stimuli. The conscious mind serves as a gate or filter of the subconscious due to its rational and analytical nature. When the conscious mind is asleep or inactive, the subconscious mind is very receptive to suggestions. It can absorb information easily and plant it like a seed that yields the deepest root in the mind.
Another barrier is the body. Yes, the physical body! The body carries the format of the nervous system. Some people, will run quickly when they see a spider while they are some, who will touch the spider and smile in awe. Different responses means different nervous system program. Some may think that they can change the program since they are already aware of how their mind works. But sadly, this program is automatic. It means that your reaction will occur before your thought. So how can you change the nervous system blueprint?
Just relax the body. Once the body is relaxed, the conscious mind will follow . When your nervous programming and your anlytical mind is already dormant, that's the time that your subconscious mind is very receptive to suggestions. This is the starting point of real, authentic change. Take note that the suggestions must inspire change. It must plant seeds to the fertile ground of your subconscious with thoughts about your ideal self, weight, financial situation, career etc. The subconscious mind cannot read "opposing words" like not or don't. When you think in terms of "I do not want to eat," you will form a mental picture of "eating." Instead of saying "I don't want to get sick," say, "I want to be healthy." That's how worry backfires you. What you worry about usually happens in reality. Thinking is like seeding in the mind. The seed will grow until it creates a blueprint in the brain that triggers a command to your body and drives your actions and decisions, unconsciously. What I mean is, when you think of being sick, you will later develop a blueprint in your brain that signals every single cell in your body to get sick and not only that, such blueprint will also influence your decisions and actions. You will unconsciously neglect your body and eat unhealthy food.
Your thoughts are suggestions to your entire nervous system. The best thing to counteract any unfavorable programming or habit is through meditation. Meditation is an art of seeding an idea to the mind. The relaxation part is just a warm up activity to calm your conscious mind and body. Doing it everyday, for at least 21 days, can help you develop a new blueprint that will actually manifest physically. Remember the rubber band? There is no stretching or forcing in meditation. Thus, there is no breaking and going back to the original form. It is a means of changing the entire property of the rubber band into something else that you desire.
To sum up all, change must start by thinking the person that you want to become every single day until it marks deeply in you, that your actions and decisions reflect the intentions of the ideal you. Old mental pictures must be replaced by the new ones ;)