So, today I had a terrible realisation.
Michael Gove is Piglet to Johnson's Pooh. Matt Hancock used to be Tigger, but is now Eeyore. And Rishi Sunak is Roo - always getting pulled out of a pocket when somebody wants money sprinkled with abandon by a hyperactive child.
Now I can't un-think it.
Today, the Hundred Arsehole Wood signed a trade agreement with the real world.
Sadly it turned out Boris was not elected with a mandate to represent all fictional lands from classic British children's literature. Narnian nationalists had demanded a vote to secede from the union when they realised the sunny uplands and unicorns the government had previously promised to all were in fact theirs all along.
Owl had tried to tell them, but he had been thrown out of the Tory party after once sitting next to Ken Clarke at a function.
Have a wonderful Christmas.