This post is written as soon as I got my epiphany from a few good ex-entrepreneurs. While it's unnecessary for me to mention their names and pinpoint failures, I thought it's worthy for me to tie in their experiences with what I have to say, especially when we can all learn from them.
Though this post is not created solely to talk about their ups and downs, it certainly is crucial for me to pen these thoughts down so it'll be forever etched in the blockchain— a journal I can always refer to cope with the days of self-worthlessness, anxiety, and depression.
The experience part doesn't only serve as a stark reminder of how far I've come despite every minuscule milestone, but it also challenges me to assess my worth, principles and choices in life.
There are no rights and wrongs. The only person who knows best is you.
Questioning my worth
Most days, I have the pleasure to work according to schedule. Not unless I have clients to meet. Other times, I pick the projects I find interesting to embark on.
Sounds great, isn't it? Being self-employed and enjoying the perks of life, flexibility, and travels.
So why do I feel like I'm not achieving enough? At times, I start comparing myself (trying hard not to) to other Goliath brands.
Should I at least push myself to expand the business? Why don't I want to build an agency and go big?
Good question. I started questioning myself this after receiving a series of similar questions from friends and sometimes, prospective clients.
Questions that challenge my life directions
Naturally, I was taken aback by the client's sudden bluntness, at the same time I couldn't shake the idea that what-if he's right.
The what-ifs are usually detrimental to your state of mind. It was at one point, causing my a series of panic attacks and insomniac nights.
Am I complacent? Or was it just being firm with my life principles? Am I stupid for not taking chances that many others (probably) don't have?
These thoughts would eventually question my entire life principles, which are based on financial independence, flexible time management and the privilege of choosing my most preferred projects.
Will I, someday, wake up and regret not going full throttle?
As annoying these realistic questions are, they are the ones that spurred me into making a big career (if not life) decision.
A career that allows me to travel whenever I want, yet achieving a stream of steady income. A business that I couldn't have possibly dreamt of in the past. And I'm calling it as my career, not because I'm employed, but it's because being self-employed or running your own business also pay the bills, put food on your table and can also be a dream job. Remember, a job doesn't need to be a cubicle. Only you can decide the kind of cubicle you want to work in.
Choose your battles wisely
Recently, I was browsing through an entrepreneur's social profile and to my surprise, she announced the demise of her business. Mind you; you wouldn't expect that from her because she's a high profile business person.
This is an excerpt from her Instagram account. I blurred the details out because I didn't think it's important for us to know her identity (at least it's not essential in the context of this post). The author is on medical leave to cope with her severe depression.
Low-profit margin, high production cost and the struggles to upkeep with the growing requirements of today's market are the core reasons for her business downfalls.
Reading her experience makes me flashback to another ex-entrepreneurs' experience, who has inevitably chosen the employment route again.
Simply because she couldn't cope with the stress. Mind you; this is a business that receives series of funding from banks and investors in its earlier days.
So what went wrong? Why did they choose to tear down the tree that they once showered with their very own blood, sweat, and tears?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not belittling employees or workers who have worked hard for every decent penny, at the same time playing their roles in contributing to their nation's economy.
If you're happy with the job you're currently in, why not? It's not like you're leeching off somebody. The question you should really be asking is…
Are your work currently aligned with your life principles?
Is it worth the time and effort put into building this career path?
And most importantly,
Are you happy where you are now?
You can argue that your happiness didn't matter because you have 5 kids and a wife to feed. Otherwise, you can always put in the extra hours after work to build on your side hustle so it'll eventually turn into the kind of project/business you dreamt of running. But if you find employment fun and fulfilling, by all means, go for it.
Not everybody wants to be a digital nomad nor do they want to run a business. At the end of the day, all of us just want to be happy in our lives, at our pace, and so far that's the only common denominator that humanity thrives on — happiness.
Why I choose solopreneurship over running an agency…
Using the striving, struggling and some thriving entrepreneurs' experiences as my case studies, I now have a clearer vision as to what I want for myself.
Some of these points might seem outright selfish for some reasons (sure, we're entitled to have our personal opinions), but everyone has got their lives to live, and you only get to live once (as cliche as it might sound). So decide what's best for you, and a lifestyle revolving your values. For example, if your values are "family first," it's obvious that a job might not be an ideal career for you if it requires you to clock in overtime or work on shifts.
Also, please take into account your mental state as well. If you don't perform well under a highly stressed environment, then the job you're holding down won't suit you as much as your colleague who loves solving a challenging coding puzzle.
Looking back at my prospective client's questions, I took the opportunity to reflect on my wants and needs instead of accepting it as an insult to my profession… So here's to solopreneurship, whatever you like addressing an entrepreneur who goes solo in his/her business…
Company's dependency on you for 24/7
Even though you have a team to back you up, chances are you're required to overlook the whole operations, decisions, and even management. If you're thinking that you'll just build this company now before making your big exit, you'll most likely need to be very much involved in your company, from the ground up. Even so, you get to sell off your company later do you want to then after all your hard work? Maybe I'm selfish, or perhaps I'm just tired of being relied on.
Being the eldest in my family, I'm used to being responsible for everything. Literally everything— from my siblings' mistakes to never living up to my mother's expectations. Maybe some of you can relate to this part of my experience especially if you're the end-product of Asian parenting. Trust me; it really is tiring when you have more than seven members depending on you. I lost my sanity years ago; I can't afford to lose more.
Pleasing the stakeholders & partners
When the money is not yours, so is the 100% of decision making. I used to work with a startup before going solo. The founder promised me total authority in the field I was heading, and he promised that he would be entirely responsible and transparent with the business decisions despite having an investor. As naive and trusting as I was then, I should have followed my gut and go with my instincts that this founder has zero business acumens. Sometimes, you deal with people like that even though deep down, you know you shouldn't.
Because you're a risk taker, you'd take chances that you shouldn't need to in the first place, should you have listened to your guts. So I can only imagine that I have more people to answer to, and possibly even try to please besides my partners, if I were to expand the business. If you've never encountered this problem (and hopefully you never had to), then count your blessings and thank those heavenly angels for looking over your shoulders.
Shouldering your employees' livelihood
This one is a no-brainer. You're obviously going to have to make wise decisions. You'd better be, considering you have tens and hundreds (before thousands) of mouths to feed. Even if you screw up, you'll need a bag full of plan Bs and Zs to cover the cost of your mistake.
The mistake that might affect their quality of living and their extended family's and kids'. You're responsible for their livelihood, so inevitably, you're giving up yours for theirs. Speaking of dependency— refer to point #1.
Taking charge of problems that are not caused by you
Your job is not to micromanage. Everybody knows that you can't get involved in everything. So you need a team. Makes sense right? But what if your team screwed up, causing you a huge contract and a failing reputation? You need to step up and handle the crisis. Call that growing up and being responsible, but in the process of molding yourself to be Joan Arc, I'd probably need a mental therapy to recover from every trauma as such.
Things will definitely be overwhelming and it'll only get worse if you're a perfectionist or have an OCD-tendency like me. I already have sleeping problems at night, and it could get worst from additional stress. Like I mentioned earlier in this post, people are different from one another. Some can function properly with only 4 hours of sleep, while others need a good 7. I could barely make it at 7 hours most days, and my body will start to shut down with sleep-time below the scale of seventh-hour.
Now don't misinterpret my messages in this post. It wasn't in my slightest intention to discourage or condemn the efforts of budding entrepreneurs. It's great that you have found a calling to your passion. Whatever your passion is.
Paving your own tracks
This is my mere reflection and wakes up call rethink of what I really, really want in my life. I've seen some go big and still go home. As the outcome, they're suicidal, depressed and still broke. Being broke is also one of the common pitfalls of entrepreneurship, and in the midst of climbing out from the abyss, you'll wonder if you will ever survive the ordeal.
I have also studied and read biographies of different business people, of different lifestyles, the scale of business and their respective school of thoughts. While I'm highly impressed and dreamt of sharing the ranks with the legends of John Maxwell, Steve Jobs and probably Zuckerberg, I'm also realistic that I don't biologically function like them. I can aspire to be but before I get there, I question myself —at what cost? Most of the times, I secretly prefer being a Chris Guillebeau.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that Chris is the least successful. With best-selling books, publications and a world tour to boot, almost anybody can envision if not envy for the life Chris has. Chris admits he's not a die-hard Jobs-entrepreneur-wannabe. He has absolutely no intentions of scaling his business in that manner. He enjoys (and also really great at) creating quality contents and podcasts to help his readers and listeners achieve their ultimate (dream) goal of financial independence and work-life balance.
With the nature of his business (book tours and online clients), he didn't need to worry about a business back home. He can work anytime, anywhere as he pleases. If you listen to his Side Hustle School podcast, you'll realize that there are plenty of business owners who feel the same way.
Only a staggering 15% of people truly love their jobs. I guess it's somewhat a small, personal achievement for me to be categorised in that group.
Sometimes, you don't have to choose between going big or going home. Most of the times, you'll just need to decide if the things you do is a hell-yes and put up with the sacrifices you have to make. We all go through a different kind of sh*t, choose the one that you're willing to put up with. If you value family a lot, would it be okay to work overtime everyday and forgo quality time with them? I guess not.
Usually, the bigger the business is, the higher commitment you'll have. If your family is okay not having you around for festive seasons, or you're okay with missing your child's first step; then I supposed the path towards 'scaling your business' is for you.
Otherwise, you don't have to choose between going big or going home because you can always bring the home in the work you do. That's who I've decided to be, and therefore, I am.
Image credit: All public domain images are taken from Pexels unless stated otherwise.
I still have my portfolio and personal sites— virtuallydebbie.com and debbieang.com.
But these sites will eventually redirect you to my Steemit blog.
Well, what can I say. If it’s good stuff, you can’t get enough of it :)
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