Now you can handle that one person in your office and work place .....
---=======Develop Your Self-awareness=======---
to become self-aware, you need to practice noticing your feelings,
thoughts, and behavior--your triggers, and yes,
the very things that difficult people do to get under your skin.
Some people find it helpful to start keeping a little notepad
or journal with them and documenting things as they come up.
When you get good at it, you'll start looking at the whole picture,
and both sides of the issue. You begin to tap into your emotions
to choose a different outcome, like an assertive response to a
difficult person overstepping your boundaries.
1<====Be Assertive And set Boundaries===>
An assertive person takes full responsibility for herself and
her actions. When a difficult person violates her boundaries,
she does not seek to be responsible for that person's actions.
She seeks self-control, is fair and reasonable,
takes on the part of the problem that belongs to her,
and keeps the rest of the problem where it belongs--with the difficult person.
An assertive person sets limits and stands up for herself so
others wont take advantage. But she takes the higher road
and does it with class. She uses
"I" statements, not "you"
statements, which tends to lead to attack and blame.
That's the last thing a difficult person in the heat-of-the-moment needs
in an emotionally-charged situation.
What difficult co-workers learn quickly is that they can't
easily get an assertive person to do or go along with whatever they wish.
Put it to practice, and watch the potential for conflict disappear.
+========== Listen then, Listen more ============+
Give the difficult person a chance to finish without interrupting.
Ask clarifying questions if confused, and use paraphrasing and
mirroring to check accuracy of hearing.
Now this is going to be hard to do, but you must at least try it
because the outcome may surprise you: Acknowledge the other
person's feelings. You heard me right. So, if the other person is angry,
say, "You must be feeling very frustrated.
We don't do this often enough because we erroneously believe
that if we notice someone's feelings, those feelings will intensify.
Actually, the opposite is true. When we address a need,
or acknowledge an emotion, the need or feeling tends to go away.
+_========Give FeedBack======-=+
There's a time when a difficult person has to be told his
behavior is affecting you and is no longer appropriate. Here's how to pull it off:
Maintain comfortable eye contact. In other words, don't "give him the eye."
Remain open-minded.
Pay attention to non-verbal signals as a way of reading the person's feeling state.
Use an "I" statement of feeling. Ex: "I feel this like decision violates our trust."