The Onion has been around for years. Originally it was print-only. That struggled financially. Later it added an online component. The combination struggled financially. Now it's online-only, struggling financially.
When the real world is as whacked out as it is, how does The Onion compete? How do you satirize life when life seems to so often be little but satire? For the moment, leave aside the clown car otherwise known as Washington politics. They clearly have no hope of outdoing a POTUS tweetstorm.
But even without the inanities that Little Hands spews, we live lives drenched in absurdities:
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The FAA Can't Stop People From Throwing Live Turkeys Out Of Planes
FAA regulations do not specifically prohibit dropping live animals from aircraft, possibly because the authors of the regulation never anticipated that an explicit prohibition would be necessary.
They probably also don't specifically prohibit dropping live humans from airplanes.
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Elderly couple sue after police mistake hibiscus for marijuana
The Cramers' lawsuit says the incident began when a Nationwide insurance agent visiting their home for a property damage claim Oct. 5 photographed the hibiscus plants in their back yard and sent them to police.
The lawsuit, filed Thursday in Butler County Court, alleges Nationwide agent Jonathan Yeamans "intentionally photographed the flowering hibiscus plants in such a manner as not to reveal that they had flowers on them so that they would appear to resemble marijuana plants."
How many levels of stupid are there here? I've lost track.
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"Man fed up with troublesome intersection intentionally causes crash, deputies say"
CLERMONT, Fla. - A man said he was so fed up with dangerous drivers at one particular intersection in Clermont that he intentionally caused a head-on crash to prove a point, according to the Lake County Sheriff's Office.
Bruce Homer, 61, told deputies that he saw an SUV run a stop sign at the intersection of Fosgate Road and Grassy Lake Road around noon on Sunday, so he pulled into the SUV's lane, claiming the SUV should have swerved to avoid him, according to the affidavit.
Why, yes, that makes perfect sense. Thank you for your service, citizen!
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The Iowa Department of Transportation posted to FaceBook to point out that deer can't read.
We actually get this question on a pretty regular basis.
I've got to ask -- how regular? Once a year? Fifty times a day? How many morons live in Iowa?
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And these are just a few samples from America. The Onion competes against a planet filled with absurdities.
How do they compete?
Pixabay photo