Consultant, n.:
(1) Someone you pay to take the watch off your wrist and tell
you what time it is. (2) (For resume use) The working title
of anyone who doesn't currently hold a job. Motto: Have
Calculator, Will Travel.
I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE ... and I don't take any DRUGS
Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is
when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.