I don't really get this post. What do you mean with that a blue spaceship landed on your head? I guess it could be a vivid picture of the awkward feeling of rumination and self rape, but I still want to hear your thought process.
The second part of this post is also so crude and incoherent that you wonder what you are even trying to say. That you are a daydreamer that does not have make sense?
But still, I like how you write about being sad and empty in a paradise, that's a pretty powerful call for inner peace before outer pleasures.