Three-face rule
We live in an age of instant gratification - if there is something or someone who does not immediately attract us online, we can immediately move on to the next. We are always in a state of search that fits our personality, our hobbies, and our expectations, and we assume that we will recognize it as soon as we see it. And in fact, sometimes we feel the immediate connection with consumer products or communications.
Unfortunately, we are unintentionally carrying that consumption idea into shaping relationships with others, and things are not going so well here.
Yes, sometimes you feel close to someone, but often things can become stiff and awkward when you first meet someone, and this awkwardness can Misunderstood into incompatibility. People are often defensive and inferior in social conversations (that's because they have not read our article!), And this can hinder a connection with others. It takes many encounters, as well as changes in your communication situations, so that similarities, connections, and deeper conversations can happen simultaneously.
For example, you can face a co-worker every day for months without thinking, "This guy can become a good friend of yours too." One day, You are invited to go somewhere, and fall into a subject that both of you feel have a lot to say, and then find out that both of them share a common hobby, and finally Two people determined to meet up outside working hours to pursue the same enjoyment. A friendship is slowly built from here.
I have seen this friendship happening many times in my life, and from that experience I have drawn the formula together with the name "Rule of Three Faces." It will take about three encounters - and here I would like to talk about purpose rather than incidental encounters - to see if it is possible to build a real relationship with someone.
This rule can be applied in both the field of friendship and romance. In fact, this is the most memorable thing about dating in the modern world. Studies have shown that when people meet someone for the first time, they almost reach consensus about Evaluate who is attractive, or not. So, if you ask others to evaluate new relationships based on attributes such as attraction, status, warmth, reliability, and the ability to bring about a relationship Well, most people will give the same level of evaluation to a person.
However, as time goes on, when one understands one another, the consensus goes back to zero. People will recognize each person's identity and change their perception; A person will appreciate that person in these qualities, while others rank low with the same person in the same qualities. Try to think of a group of friends and acquaintances who have known each other for a long time; If you ask each of them to evaluate each other's "twinning values," then you will get a very diverse result.
We all have unique characteristics that allow us to evaluate the value and shortcomings of a potential partner; The highlight of this person is not very prominent in others. There, the qualities that everyone thinks are the most important in the first encounter (the seduction of the woman, the position of the male) will be less important over time, in The unique characteristics that underlie the relevance and cohesion of a good, long-lasting relationship are important.
Think about the first year of your college life; Perhaps you were once in love with a pink ball at first sight, but then your feelings gradually fade over time, because later you found out that the girl is not as good as you think On the contrary, maybe some girl does not attract you at first sight, but the more you know her than you are attracted by the beauty of her soul.
The fact is that our perceptions of other people tend to change enormously over time, corresponding to the fact that most people start a romantic relationship with someone they already know. Know a time in the sphere of a non-romantic relationship. In fact, a youth survey showed that only 6% of respondents did not know their loved ones before; 53% of respondents had known each other, and 41% were friends before identifying their relationship
If you are not very sure - then just chase it a bit more, until you make the final decision. Instead of immediately ignoring potential friends and lovers, invest more. Take a moment to them, and know where you get the best relationship in life.
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