There are situations that we can change, there are others that don't. And the sooner we assume it, the sooner we stop suffering for it. When a person doesn't want to stay on our side, we can do little to keep her. If we missed a job opportunity, it's no good to be sorry. As proactive, enthusiastic and positive as we are, there are situations that we cannot change. In these cases it only remains to change our minds.
The dangers of non-acceptance there are situations that, if we cannot change, we must accept. When we do not accept them, they become a pending matter, an obstacle that drains our energy. However, the real miracle happens to accept them because in this process of supposed surrender, we grow and we manage to pass page.
What happens when we do not accept a situation that we cannot change?
- It keeps us stagnant. If we have a wall in front and we are blinded trying to throw it down but we do not succeed, we will get frustrated and lamenting. In this way, we will end up stuck in our path. On the contrary, if we try to try other solutions, we can continue advancing, not in spite of the wall, but precisely thanks to this.
- It makes us unhappy. When we fail to change the situation or others do not meet our expectations, frustration can grow to unsuspected levels. By tying ourselves to that problem we are unable to be happy, it is as if it were a huge stone that forced us to drag, but actually we would like to release it, but we do not know how.
- Prevents us from seeing opportunities. A problem or a negative situation, especially when maintained over time, often generates frustration. And in that state we are not only unable to pass the page but we do not even realize the solutions and opportunities that pass through our side. Not accepting a fact is to close the opportunities, choosing to stay in the past.
It's not the situation, it's how you react often we confuse reality with our reactions. However, it is important to keep in mind that it is not the situation itself that generates frustration, suffering or anxiety, these are just our answers to facts that we cannot or do not want to manage. This is a substantial difference because in this way you will be able to separate the event from your reaction to it. And realize that you are reacting to a meaning, not to a fact.
In fact, on many occasions we are ourselves who add more firewood to the fire, imagining the worst possible scenarios or allowing negative emotions to pass us by and take command. In this way we can only make the situation worse, when the goal is to feel better. In practice, we end up losing the perspective that good and bad, the negative and the positive are based essentially on our viewpoints, the way we choose to react to certain situations.
Many of the situations that at first glance we can consider as negative or bad, can be positive, or at least acquire a neutral character if we know to turn them over and take them out.
Of course, it's not about relativize everything or suffering in silence. When a situation we do not like or becomes an obstacle to achieve our goals, we must try to change it, but if we can not, continually colliding against a wall will serve no more than to harm us. If we can't tear down that wall, we'd better learn to take advantage of it.
To achieve this, it is important to be clear that everything depends on the interpretation, which is determined by our experiences, expectations and the emotions that are seizing us. But what we are seeing is not the only reality, but only one facet of this. Our reaction to the situation will be the final version. So focus on finding solutions, not complaining.
Remember that life is not as you want it to be, many times it is capricious and unexpected. It will continue to put problems in your path as well as new opportunities. You choose if you want to be a victim or if you prefer to take the reins and learn at every step.
After all, remember that nothing is forever. If something displeases you, try to change it, if you can't, don't torture yourself and change your attitude. Learn to embrace life, with all that it entails.
