Joy, a lady in her 30's sat down in the spacious office fidgeting with her bag. Her appearance looks modest and she wears this "I don't give a damn kinda look." She had come to submit an application for an open job position and the recruitment manager had insisted on going through her application right on the spot.
So you worked in a bank? The voice of Steve the recruitment manager; a man in his 40's reverberated across the room. "No, I worked in your fore father's company," muttered Joy mischievously. She quickly said to herself, was it not stated in her resume that she worked in a bank. Then why does this man with big eyes ask her a question he already knew the answer to? She cut short her thoughts, smiles at him and replied: "yes sir, I worked in a bank."
While his eyes are still glued to her resume, Steve asked her: "which bank did you work"?
"Not again"! Joy almost screamed out loud. Then she said between clenched teeth, almost aloud: "I worked at the bank where angel Gabriel was the bank manager."
Steve continues to scrutinize her resume while obviously waiting for a response.
"Sir," Joy began. "I worked at people's bank for five years, then I proceeded to merchant bank and worked for two years". Afterward, I.....".
"That's enough", replied Steve. "I didn't ask for your life history. I can see why you've been jobless for some time now. I asked just a question and you gave me a thousand answers."
At this point, Joy was boiling with rage. Several thoughts began to run through her mind. Who does this man think he is, Bill Gate? Or better still, he thinks he is the president of the world wide web.
"I'm sorry sir", Joy said quietly. "I was just too excited to share my job experiences with you.
"Reserve your experiences for the pope, I am not interested," came the rude reply.
"Yes sir, I will remember that when next I pay the pope a visit."
Steve stares at her for at least a minute and asked: "What's your name"?
Joy cast him a reproachful look. "Of course, she muttered to herself, it's obvious that this dumb man can't read in English. But this time, I'm having none of this." She looked at Steve unflinchingly and replied: "sir, my name is boldly written on the resume you're holding", or do you want it translated to Mandarin language"?
At this point, Steven rises and moves closer to where she's sitting. He rests one arm on her shoulder and looks straight into her eyes. Then he mutters slowly, almost as if he was whispering to himself. "I'd like you to do something for me". Joy raises her eyebrow in anticipation. Then he mutters: "I need you to get the hell out of my office."
Even though Joy didn't expect this sudden outburst, she was very calm as she rises and begins to walk slowly toward the door. She was about to open the door when she heard him say: "Joy, come here"!
Feeling exasperated by his attitude, she turned and walked slowly toward him. At this moment, Joy was almost fuming and didn't bother to hide it. "Sir, here I am", she said indignantly.
Steve rises and moves closer to her. "Why did you leave when I asked you to"? Joy looks baffled. "Sir, you asked me to leave and I was just obeying orders." Steve nods his head slowly, and said sarcastically:"you were just obeying orders indeed." Then he grabbed the resume and takes a cursory look at it. "It says here that you've been unemployed for the past three years. So tell me, how the hell have you been surviving"?
Joy forces a smile, then she looks straight into his eyes. "I try to do what I can to survive, so long as it is honorable."
Judging by his countenance, Steve seems quite unimpressed with her response. "You strike me as a very proud lady. You could pass for a church rat, yet you act like the princess of Wales."
Joy stared at him defiantly. "I don't understand what you're talking about sir".
"Of course, you do! When I asked you to leave my office, I expected you to plead with me, or try to convince me otherwise, but you did none of that. Rather you just walked away without a care in the world. Now, I'm beginning to think that you don't really need this job."
Joy's face looks expressionless as different thoughts begin to run through her mind. Could she already be undergoing a job interview and doesn't realize it? Has she ruined her chances of getting this job? Should she throw caution to the wind, get down on her knees and beg this man to consider her for this job? Her mind was still filled with questions when she was jolted back to reality. "How good are you at giving blow jobs"?
Joy's looks calm and replied: "I've never really been good at it because I was taught early in life never to indulge in street fights no matter the circumstances.
Steve stifles a laughter, then he moves closer to her. "You can't be serious are you? "What has blow job got to do with street fights"?
"A lot sir", Joy enthused. From my understanding, blow jobs involve exchanging blows as this: she moves closer to him and lands a heavy blow on his chest. Steve, taken off guard, flinches in pain and barks at her.
"What in the world is wrong with you"? Joy ignores him and continues: "Then when your opponent retaliates and both of you continue to exchange more blows, it will result in what we call a street fight."
Steve nods his head silently. "It's either you're a daft, or you're trying to make a fool outta me. But since you're forming St Theresa, I will show you what it means to give a blow job." He sits down and unzips his pants. "Come and kneel before me, and I will give you all the lessons there is on how to give a blow job. Just a quick reminder, that if you pass this oral interview stage correctly, you may end up getting this job."
Joy smiles and walks toward him. Then she lowers her head and whispers in his ears."Is it true that blow jobs are great when the receiver closes his eyes during the act"? Steve begins to laugh. "You're such a bad girl huh, and you were just pretending all along. Now, I'm gonna close my eyes and watch you do your thing. Remember, the better you carry out this function, the higher your chances of getting this job."
He closes his eyes and Joy glares at him for a moment. Her eyes roam as if she's searching for something. Suddenly, she grabs a flask that lies on the opposite table. She pours the content in a cup and empties it on him as she says slowly: "I hope this hot holy water will drive some sense into you and help me to perform my job function better....amen." Steve opens his eyes, rises and screams at the top of his voice: "Have you lost your mind? Do you want to burn me to death"?
Joy stares at him innocently and replied: "I'm sorry sir, I didn't know the holy water was that hot. It's just my pastor taught me that before you embark on any office function, you should start with a word of prayer by spraying hot holy water on your subject. I thought......."
"Get out of my office. You're fired."
"But sir, you can't do that," Joy pleaded."I really need this job." Steve stares at her with disgust, then he rises, grabs her hand and begins to drag her out of his office. Suddenly, the door opens and John, a man in his 50's walks in.
Steve stops dead in his tracks. "Welcome sir," he said. John stares at him condescendingly and barks: "who gave you the right to mistreat my daughter"? Steve's looks terrified as he looks from John to Joy, then his face rests on John. "Your daughter? I don't understand sir."
Joy smirks at him mischievously. Then she moves closer to him and whispers: "Maybe, a blow job will make you understand better."
Steve stares at her in silence. John looks from Steve to Joy, then he said: "Joy, did I hear you correctly? Tell me, what the hell is going on here"? mayibtalks