Often when we are in recovery we hear statements like "Take what you need and leave the rest" or "If it don't apply, let it fly." These sayings are basically saying the same thing and it is a very valuable lesson we need to learn.
Are they talking about me?
I have been in meetings several times when I found myself thinking that the person talking was actually talking about me in some kind of sideways way. You know, getting a dig in through talking in a meeting, trying to make some hidden message through.
What? what kind of ego must I have to think that someone in a recovery meeting has nothing better to do than talk about me in some coded message? Can you say "Stinkin' Thinkin'?"
Geez...
But wait, why did I feel that way?
If I stop and think for a minute it does not take long to realize that I identified with something that was being said by whoever was talking. Obviously something hit a nerve somewhere, but why was I so unwilling to look at myself and instead think there was something malicious going on?
Sometimes it is easier to see someone else as bad than yourself...
If it don't apply let it fly.
This is what is meant here. If something that is said does not pertain to you, then don't let it bother you. I know it seems simple but in reality it is not!
Some people take this saying to mean that they only have to work the part of the recovery program that applies to them, I would caution from using this thinking. The program is the program and it works if you work it, not part of it, all of it.
There are some things that are more suggestions in the program. Like, for instance going to 90 meetings in 90 days. Like every other part of the program, talk to and work with your sponsor before making any decisions!
Keep working a program and when someone speaks only take what applies to you and use it.
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