On today's agenda, I am going to rant about the word "Fair" as well of the concept of "Fair".
It's because I heard that word a lot in the last two weeks and I don't like it at all.
I get really triggered by the word fair. Some days I would like to ban it. In fact, I have an automatic reaction to "It's not fair". My pulse speeds up a little, my eyes roll, and my teeth clench.
Nothing is fair. Nothing is ever going to be fair and I wish we could stop using the word.
It starts with where we are born and who we are born to. It's not fair. Some people are born in wealthy locations to wealthy people and others are just not. Even in less developed countries being born or living near a good food source like a river might be an advantage.
We are born with genetic attributes that haven't even fully developed yet. Things like being smarter, prettier, faster, taller or a specific gender. Some people are born with debilitating birth defects, and.., It's not fair.
Simple things like being at the right place at the right time make things unfair. How quickly you hear about something, who you know... It's not fair.
As a parent, I always informed my kids that things weren't going to be fair and we weren't going to pretend. I did things to equalize situations like if they were splitting a candy bar one kid split the candy bar and the other got to choose. However, I never taught them to expect fairness, because that would set them up for a life of disappointment and bitterness, and that is not fair.
As a boss when accused of being unfair. I just admitted it. Yes, I would smile that is true "I am not fair". Once accused of showing unfair preference to a couple of my top employees, I nodded in agreement and said, "Yes, I do show favoritism to those who I find pleasant to work with and who get things done."
Now as a member of this community, I would like to inform you that nothing here is going to be fair either. Witness selection, to rewards, to projects you are selected for... They aren't going to be fair. All of these things will be impacted by the stake that you hold, who you know, your ability to write, being in the right place at the right time, etc. etc.
There is a place you can find fair:
It's not fair means... I am losing and I don't like it. :) Sorry.
Here is a great article about Fairness:
The problem isn’t that life is unfair – it’s your broken idea of fairness
