But I didn't shoot anyone.
When I was in the 7th grade I was a frustrated kid who was getting picked on in school. My family had moved to a small farming town, and I didn't fit in. My classmates called me "The Dog" and made all the dog jokes you can imagine, "give her bone", barking, etc. I was in that awkward Jr. High phase and none of us realized it wasn't forever.
7th grade school photo*
Going to school in the morning was difficult and my social and conflict resolution skills were low. The teachers and the parents tried to help sort it out. I remember one of my teachers giving the kids a lecture on not picking on me, which was as humiliating as the torment I received from the students.
Nothing changed.
My parents, on at least one occasion, loaded me into the car for a meeting with the principal and counselor where I remember sitting there wishing I was invisible while the adults talked in serious tones, while looking concerned. I don't recall what was said.
Nothing changed.
Meanwhile I became a bit more angry and frustrated. Kathy Shinder was the girl who bloomed a little earlier than the rest of us. I remember she had the cool Britannica Jeans, shiny blond hair and she kept a comb in her back pocket to occasionally flip through her perfectly golden locks. Kathy Shinder was a "cool girl" and she loved to make fun of me. I was so envious of her that I didn't even hate her, but I was jealous.
Nothing changed.
One day Kathy was walking one direction in the hall and I was headed the other direction. Due to crowding in the hall we had to pass each other and as she walked by she cocked her elbow and delivered a nice blow to my ribs as I passed.
What happened next is a blur. I don't recall considering what my next options were. In fact the next memory I have was her sliding down a locker to land on the hall floor with a bloody nose. I had punched her in the nose, and we didn't really know what to do next. Other students had gathered and were cheering. Teachers soon drug us to the office where I was suspended for a day.
Everything changed.
When I went back to school, everything had changed. I was forced to apologize, which started a bit of a friendship. I was now receiving friendly teasing instead of mean spirited teasing. I ended up bonding with some kids and started to develop a group of friends. It needed to be me that ended the situation. I am not sure anyone else could have done it.
I am not advocating punching people in the nose, but I am also not sorry I bunched Kathy Shinder in the nose.
I did not turn into a bully that punched everyone. In fact I have never hit another person since Kathy.
Once in a while, though... It might be a good solution.
Many childhood fights in the 70s and early 80s were worked out in this manner and nobody ever shot anyone even though this was a small farming town and we all had access to guns. The boys drove pickups with gun racks, nobody ever shot anyone.
I don't pretend to be able to define the problems surrounding school shootings, and I am not even advocating we teach kids to punch each other. I have to say I think about it sometimes. Have we removed the tools kids use to resolve issues, by putting too much focus on "mean words" and "hitting"?
If you wish to talk about gun control, I can't stop you... But I will not engage unless you can define the law you wish to make and name the shootings it might have impacted.
this post is in honor of 
