I recently spent a few days camping out near Twin Lakes, Colorado, with Yolo McFukitol, my irritable and unapologetically anti-Tesla Subaru. It was quite the lovely and scenic spot, featuring mountains, trees, and extremely monsoony afternoons, exactly what you might expect from the centennial state in August.
Anyhow, as has been our custom lately, we did our very best to get as trashed as possible, and then spend some time staggering around our campsite looking for trash to pick up and pack out.
It was only noon but I'd already managed to shoot 12 fluid ounces of Purell brand hand sanitizer up my ass, and I was feeling grand. Unfortunately, YMF had passed out an hour prior from trying (and failing) to shotgun an entire DOT-111 tank car of crude, so as fate and substance abuse would have it, this episode of Campsite Cleanup was to be a solo effort.
No time to waste, let's get right into it:
I began by investigating the ancient-looking firepit, hopeful for at least a bottle cap or perhaps a small piece of manmade tinder unlit and left behind. But no such luck. This ring of fire of yore yielded up not the slightest shred of litter.
Undiscouraged, I stepped six feet west to examine what remained of the deadwood collected to serve as future fire fuel. But this too proved fruitless. Normally by now I'd have already found several photos' worth of crap abandoned by past campers, and yet here I am with a startling lack of crap to report. Could it be that there was actually bloody nothing around here to clean up?
Ah, thank all the gods! Trash at last! It's not much, but it's one more sodden discarded cigarette butt than I had a second before!
Now this is interesting—a Bureau of Land Management survey marker. Dated 1965. Seeing as how it says right there that it is "unlawful to disturb", I suppose I shall leave this pile of government-sponsored debris untouched. Can't stop me from snagging that loose piece of rusty wire, though.
I am guessing the BLM surveyors are also responsible for this atrocity. The lettering appears similar to that found on the survey marker.
Another pic for reference. Hopefully this will be the last of uncleanuppable trash I find today.
Behold, a scurry of used toilet paper! Likely left behind by a wild toilet that came through here not too long ago. Can't say I'm too surprised, as it is currently wild toilet mating season, and they are the messy sort.
Aha! I see thee hiding there!
The smell of hipster was so strong, I could hardly miss digging up these two cans of PBR! What a great find!
Now here is something odd. I'm still not quite sure what it is. It looks like one of those little tabs you have to peel off the top of a ketchup bottle before the ketchup can be exsquirted. But it might also just be a baby dragon scale. Sometimes you just have to collect the trash you've been predestined to collect, and move along.
Another stray can. The labeling was completely torn away and obscured, but the scent again gave it away: PBR.
Wow, a plastic arrowhead! This has probably been sitting here for a couple hundred years or so. They probably shot it at a piñata that was galloping by here, missed, and then couldn't find it in the undergrowth or something. Guess it's mine now!
Well there it is, the whole haul.
It does leave a little to be desired—of course I was hoping for a good deal more litter than this.
But, I shall be happy with what I have here.
Some trash, is better than no trash!
Cheers, and thanks for reading!
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