Ι grew up in a rural place. Most of my relationships were based on constant fights. I hold the belief that if there is no quarrel with someone else you cannot really know them. One simply cannot have the whole picture. Similarly, when we visit a store, many of us, always make sure to ask about the negative aspects of a product. We don't just trust a piece of clothing. We have specific expectations based on price, reputation and craftsmanship. When it comes apart, we are aware of the reasons (more or less) because we amassed enough info about while we were buying. Human relationships are compiled much the same way.
As I grow older I realise how important of a commodity quarrel is and how it builds solid boundaries for relationships. Social interactions are not all that different from material ones. We are all products of previous experiences and we carry with us positive and negative aspects depending who we are dealing with in time and space. We need the entire picture and as much information as possible if we are to make educated decisions for our future.
Relationships are tradeable much like everything else. Many seem to detest the idea and rather hold the belief that they are different than materialistic ones. Perhaps the lack or romance is what bothers most people since it makes the world a really cruel and unfair place. Nonetheless, people forget that they often talk the way they talk so they can be likeable and approachable. Even our most altruistic acts aim for selfish gains. We are all moving, breathing advertisements. Everybody is selling something at any given point and someone is bound to fail for someone else to succeed.
This realisation should make everyone reconsider the nature of human relationships. For one it should make us all realise that all relationships operate in their own universe, each with specific rules. For everyone else, our personal relationships are more or less elusive. Have you even watched a board meeting of a company? Everyone has brought smiles, shaking hands, trying to appear as positive as possible even if they world is burning. Everyone has to appear "professional" and handle any given situation surgically even if it all goes to shit. There are strict rules much like computer programming and if one violates them then they are discarded much like we do to a bug. The system for us owes to be smooth and functional.
We need to understand that this capitalistic notion with our relationships flows in every single part of society. Our friends, family, employers and the grocery man next door, all operate on a given marketing realm that aims to generate profit in some way or another. When you see someone helping a fellow being is because they feel good doing it. They are building social capital from the values that they have aquired from society. We are social animals. Everyone enjoys helping others, just not every single person and not every single time. In the same respect, we enjoy hurting others that might threaten our values. The only thing that changes in any given circumstance is the value we assign to our interactions.
Every single relationship on earth, for every species, is based on demand and supply. I did try to see the world through the romantic idea, the idealised human perspective. It fails miserably long term because all values of romanticism are based on exaggerated symbolism. Consider for example the act of bringing dead flowers to someone as a symbol for love. The act itself is a meme, that both parties have to abide. They both know what the act ultimately symbolises but parties choose to engage in this form instead of saying to each other that they want to fuck. The reality that both have assets that are valued and desired (body or mind), is bypassed since it appears to be vulgar. We tend to deny our capitalistic nature because it makes us sound brute, unrefined, much like the rest of animals. We can deny reality all we wish but we cannot deny the consequences of denying reality. Romanticism fails in the long run because its symbols betray reality.
There is nothing wrong treating each other based on capitalistic ideas. Accepting the harsh truths about our world, how everything operates on demand and supply, is pivotal in bringing solutions that torment us. Avoiding reality for the sake of romanticism only makes our lives more troublesome. Those who abide to the romantic code, don't ultimately follow through. They can't afford it. Everything is built for and upon scarcity. This is how value is created. This is how evolution makes sure to reward some trends based on a given ecosystem while discarding others.
