I traveled to meet family during the eclipse yesterday, including my sister, whom I have attempted to maintain a strained relationship with over the years. Family is family to me, and anyone that is familiar with my comments and blogs will know that I find little to admire about the SJW movement, nor do I bite my toungue regarding discussing such, but I am also dedicated to family.
For these reasons, my personal relationship with my sister has been tenuous over the years, as she changed her name to that of a pagan goddess, has attempted to profit from (assumed) victimhood, touted dubious medical theories regarding 'energy flows', etc., and so forth. She has always been fairly narcissistic (I blame my father for this, as he shamelessly spoiled my sisters), and during her stint as a charismatic Christian, displayed the most blatant self-righteousness and disdain for my own, and others, unwillingness to drink that koolaid.
sigh. In the past couple years, her attempts to reach out to me (after more than a decade of silence) has been welcomed by me, because family. As we began to again meet at family events, she began to assert her right to control our dialogue, demand that I behave in ways she approved, and so on. In the attempt to restore some kind of relationship, I made the mistake of trying to accommodate her.
This was my fault, as I but encouraged her to press harder.
When we viewed the eclipse together things continued to progress, and I continued to 'bend the knee' to her demands. However, when I pointed out that the ADA actually deprives disabled folks of the ability to overcome their disabilities by focusing on fixing the world, rather than enabling the disabilities to be overcome with appropriate prostheses (I have worked as a caregiver for a quadraplegic, and in construction for almost two decades), she began chanting "I will not have this conversation" - practically plugging her ears and shouting "LALALALA" in order to drown me out, and prevent me from speaking.
I had had enough. I told her she was free to not speak, and thus not engage in the conversation, anytime she wanted, but she was not authorized to determine what I say, or do not say. She became so enraged that I would no longer kowtow to her demands, that she took the meal (which I had paid for at the restaraunt my mother selected) and stormed out to her car.
I strongly support this action on her part, TBQH, as if you are incapable of having a conversation, the best thing to do is leave, and she clearly isn't capable of coping with the facts I relate. But, I haz a sad about it. Family...
Frankly, I expect never to hear from her again, and that's probably a good thing. I was wrong to ever let her abusively manipulate me into acting and speaking only as she permitted, and absolutely correct to end the abuse. I am responsible to protect myself from abuse, regardless of from where it comes.
Do not suppose it isn't abuse when someone tries to prevent you from speaking freely. She once stated that free speech didn't include offensive speech. I told her that offensive speech was the only kind worthy of protection, since speech that offends no one doesn't require protection. This seemed to completely confound her, as she did make some attempt at making sense in conversation with me (what, I suppose, gave me hope I could try to salvage a familial relationship to begin with), and stated "You can't shout fire in a crowded theater."
I pointed out that hurting someones feelings was a) not the responsibility of the speaker, but the hearer, who are responsible for their feelings, and b) feelings being trampled wasn't at all the same as bodies in a theater.
I remain unbowed at this point, despite the fact that I cherish family. I just am not responsible for her thoughts, actions, or feelings, and will not assume responsibility for keeping them safe from reality. At least, not until I am granted authority over them, and I would certainly refuse it anyway, as it is just a silly thought.
Of course, the reverse is true, and I will always be responsible, and have authority over, my own.
Sadly, my pics and video of the eclipse will probably not be forthcoming, as I am discouraged at this failure to restore my family to some kind of functional relationship. Even more sadly, she is a teacher, and I am quite confident she is poisoning the minds of the impressionable and vulnerable kids under her authority.
Better luck than mine!
