happy forever chapter two: the reason
part thirteen
Why have you tried to change your spouse? he will probably admit that he does it because he or she needs to change. Perhaps through feminine insight or male logic you have detected sectors in your spouse's life that need improvement so that both can be happier. Maybe you think it's honorable to help your husband or wife overcome their faults to have a more acceptable personality. after all, it is for the spouse's own good.
However, despite these noble purposes, a basic Christian principle is being violated. The core of the Christian message is the need to make indispensable changes in ourselves, and not that of our ability to change others. Jesus invites us to cast the beam from our own eye before concentrating on the straw that is in the eye of another person.
behind the criticism there may be envious reasons. Sometimes we demean other people to overcome our own feelings of inferiority. by lowering the value of others we strain our weak self-love.
but with disparaging others we do not prove our own worth. instead, we just put another person in a lower position, and with that we automatically put it on the defensive.
When we choose the Christian lifestyle something must happen in our attitudes. we should be able to sincerely forgive others' faults.
In addition to being Christians, we should remember that God accepts us completely, as sinners. If we do not have to prove to him that we are worthy, why should we show our dignity to other people? the knowledge of this should free the Christian and help him develop a greater appreciation for himself and for others, fully recognizing the loving acceptance of God.