One of my favorite customers at the cafe came in the other day.. looking like this. She had just spent two days in jail, and had lost her job
for being the VICTIM of domestic abuse
She was always the one to tip me 200%, buy coffee and sandwiches for our homeless patrons, and invest herself in the well-being of others. But she has not gotten back what she's been putting in.
If I hadn't been feeling so gifty this Christmas, I would be of more help than to just provide emotional support and to write this post. I was at least able to provide her with a phone after he had stolen hers and changed all her passwords, but it kills me that I can't help feed her children or keep her from being evicted.
So I'll just get right to it, here's a link to the GoFundMe campaign on her behalf.
https://www.gofundme.com/fightdomesticviolencenow
Anything you can do will help. That includes resteeming this. All SBD rewards on this post, as well as any transferred directly to me will go directly to Valerie.
"My whole life I was told I was beautiful and could have any man in the world; some how due to my childhood experiences and sexual trauma I never found myself worthy of healthy love or actually believed it. To me being beautiful was a curse .
I recently fell in love with a man two years ago that I believed to be my soul mate , my other half maybe because he understood my trauma and vice a versa we had a similar past. However 6 months ago the abuse started. He always accused me of sleeping with his friends , or wanting to, he would create stories up where he would say he seen me out with men and I knew he didn't. I use to think he was just insecure.
Well in August of 2017 was the first physical contact. As they say " each time gets worse" . It started with a slap, and a muff. I justified in my head cause he was drunk , I got smart and called him a bitch. However I went back after three times of abuse and each time it was worse. Anyone knows I am a fighter so yes I fought back and I would make excuses to my self and say we'll it got that bad cause I fought back.
However this Monday 1/8/2018 was the last time . Not only did he beat me like a man , and threw me outside with no coat and phone and told me to walk home ; the justice system failed me as well. Although they had evidence of him pleading guilty to fifth degree assault charges against me from the August situation and two prior calls from the residence in the last 6 weeks . Their response was to arrest me cause I kept going back!
I have lost my job, some of my family and friends due to the one question I can't answer myself ! Why did I go back? Since than and after everytime he threatened my daughter , my kids father and my brother if I was to leave him or tell on him.
However I will no longer live in fear ; fear of being weak, fear of losing my job due to it being a mess or drama, fear of people judging me or saying I must like it since I kept going back. I am not asking for pity, I refuse to be a victim !
I am a survivor of Domestic Violence and it can happen to any of us. It doesn't mean we're uneducated, it doesn't mean we're poor, it doesn't mean we like it!
What it means is that there is a lot more education and policy that needs to be done on Domestic Violence.
This man is walking around telling people he is the victim and yet after beating me has been seen at the bar I use to work at a hour later with no scratches or marks kicking it bragging I was in jail. The justice system and Third Precinct has allowed this man to get away with this numerous times due to the one fact I went back.
Yes I went back , however I did not deserve this.
The pictures you see are from him dragging me out his house by my hair down cement stairs where he proceeded to bang my head into the ground. He than kicked me in my side and legs with his size 11 boots. I have 4 contusion on my head , a dislocated arm and a body full of bruises. His mother and roommate stood by and watched.
This is not Justice!!!! Please educate your self on domestic violence before you judge someone!
I am the face of Domestic Violence and I will no longer be silenced. I'm sure I might lose more friends and more jobs however I do this in hopes people learn not to assume woman know how to leave a situation and it's as easy as you may hope it to be.
Also I tell this story because if you notice the one scar is located on my temple. If there had been uprooted ice or a rock I would not be here today to tell my story!!!!"
-Valerie