A few weeks back my friend suggested we could help at a foster house in our free time. I have been thinking about it million times, but apart of some clothes/monetary collections, I never made a move. Once he suggested, I knew it was the ultimate kickstart. Time is the most precious commodity you can give to someone. So let's give...
Fast forward few weeks and meetings at the shelter, a group of other volunteers organized a trip to the river for boys. They do it every 6 months. We decided to join and help to organize. Needless to say, it was all perfectly managed by them as it was an x-time they did it. Three of us set out at 6 am to meet the volunteers in the city center to follow their car to the campsite.
Just when we were done with all preps, boys arrived. All volunteers were bringing food, so one of my friends had a great idea to buy balls for them. It was really like a Christmas Eve for them, new balls, wohoooo;-)
Then we spent a day playing in the river, hiking, eating, playing games...
It all sounds so idyllic and perfect. But during the day we also heard stories from the other more experienced volunteers. Stories of boys who were delivered to the shelter in such a bad condition that they could not walk or eat on their own, who were so abused and almost starved to death. My heart was cracking, I just really can never understand how this is even possible. I can find a million explanations, but I can find a single excuse.
I was looking at them playing in the river. They were so happy, laughing and enjoying as if nothing bad ever happened to them. I don't want to be judgemental, sometimes bad things happen based on a good intention. They mostly come from very poor backgrounds and parents with no education. Before our first visit, I lived in an idea that most of them are in the shelter because they don't have parents. I was shocked to realize that most of them actually do have parents. Some of them simply failed financially and could not afford to take care of their kids so they looked for a better option for them. Some of them, unfortunately, are on the dark side of this story - physical and mental abuse of their kids. I wish that karma exists.
Time heals, love heals. There are 33 boys in the shelter we support, with approximately 10 permanent employees who look after them and countless volunteers. Not bad. Yet, it is clear that these boys can never get an equal amount of attention, energy, and love as they would have gotten from their families, should they work normally.
We plan to help the older ones by teaching them skills related to job placement and the others with some fun activities - swimming classes, going to a football match at the stadium...
Anybody out there who was in a foster house? I come from a very nice family, and I feel an insider view could help greatly. Somebody who was in the shelter, did well in life later on and can share some ideas of what is missing in foster houses but could be implemented to help these kids.
How to teach them about love, relationships and how to create a family?