Having a new baby can trigger the elder brother's jealousy, however, it will be a great change that will bring good times to everyone, I all depends on the foundation layed and how we go about it.
In many ways, deciding when to have or not have a second baby can be even more difficult than deciding to have your first child . It is much more complex than asking "Do we want more children and have enough financial capacity? Perfect, dale!". Bringing a new child to the family is like creating a whole family again. Everyone has to adapt to a new rhythm and take into account the needs of the youngest, which of course will bring many responsibilities to the whole family and not just to the parents.
Although to be fair to the truth, there are many people who do not have any kind of problem with this . From the beginning they know how many children they want to have or they simply let themselves be carried away by the vital dynamics and have the number of children they want when they really want to. And it's perfect. However, for others, it can be a very hard decision and one that reflects a lot: parents who are on the line and do not decide definitively as to whether they want to have another child or if they are going to close the door to That possibility for the future, should assess a number of concepts before making a final decision.
THE FAMILY NUCLEUS INCREASES
Consider the general dynamics of your family and the possible jealousy: Normally, in all families, the arrival of the first child puts the parents' lives upside down, and changes in activities, routine or habits cause the adaptation to be, at first, quite uphill. However, when the family consolidates and becomes a nucleus in which everyone is an unbreakable part of the same whole, it is when you begin to value the option of bringing a stranger to this nucleus: you begin to conceive the possibility of a new son, and this is a big decision in which, of course, you have to take into account the opinions of the whole family
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Do not be scared of the future relationship between children, just encourage them to get along
A new pregnancy , and therefore a new member of the family, a new brother or sister, will test the relationships that had previously been built and the routines that you had already established. The question is "What are you prepared for as a mother and what is your family prepared for?" You have to take into account also the personality of your first child, and what may be the smallest, and how the older can take the arrival of an intruder (in the first instance) to his life. Evaluate how it affects him and at what stage of his life he finds himself, determine if he can adjust quickly to the changes or if, on the contrary, he finds it hard to adapt to the news.
WILL THEY GET ALONG?
If you have a happy and cheerful child , who adapts to everything quickly and loves the changes and new adventures, you will feel that you have won the lottery and you may feel a little more scared or scared at the time of having the second child, however your personality may be and how to deal with it in the future, since your first child has not given you any problems. But in this case you know that the change and the turn of dynamics is not going to be something that causes so much stress to the greater, but it is more for your own fears and insecurities and you will have to value it for yourself .
On the contrary, if you have a very introverted child , who demands a lot of your attention and is more dependent on you and who is jealous, adding another one to the family may cause more stress than you may have considered in the first instance. A stress that not only affects you as a parent, but can affect the relationship with your partner and the relationship you have with your other son or daughter.
The truth is that the arrival of a brother or sister will undoubtedly bring more stress , jealousy and more work. Everyone will say that having two children is much more than doubling the work. But tranquility, that all is not bad. Bringing an offspring to the family can make the environment much more charming, bring many surprises and good times to the family and no doubt brighten the atmosphere of the house, filling it with life and, of course, love.
WE ALL PARTICIPATE IN THE DECISION
Once the decision to have a new baby has been made, do not forget your oldest son and make him participate at all times in the new event and the arrival of his new brother. Have your opinion , let him know that what he says matters as the most, and include him in the decisions about the new baby, once the new offspring is at home, in the tasks that it will bring to the family. Enclose the older that feeling of protection that only brothers and sisters have and make him feel almost his guardian without neglecting his needs as well as the child that will continue to be avoiding jealousy.
The eldest son or daughter will need our support and understanding
You do not want to make it grow suddenly or make him feel too much responsibility at once, he will also need a lot of his parents in these times of change because, whatever his personality, it will also be a moment that can revolutionize his maturity and change his way of seeing things with his brother or sister. So make time for the older once in a while and continue to share with him or her the moments you previously shared so he does not feel that his brother is stealing his parents' attention.
And this is when jealousy can come in . That word so feared by all parents who will have a second baby. To avoid jealousy try that everything you do is compensated between the two brothers, do not get into their future discussions and if you do try to be impartial and take it with philosophy , those are fights of children and have to solved by them alone contribution will be needed,try not to give one more than another in the first years so as not to arouse envy and try to share their things among them to promote the equality and the feeling of union between them.
It will be a great change , without a doubt, but a change that you must face with integrity and joy and that will undoubtedly be good for the family once the impact of the novelty is normalized.