My childhood experiences make me believe that I am unhappy. I can still feel it right now because my brain keeps playing the old tape. I try to fix myself when I feel worthless.
Src1
I'm pushing myself to remember that these feelings are actually old memories. I'm not a lost child anymore. I'm not a frightened teenager anymore. I don't have to live any longer with these negative thoughts.
But it is very difficult to break this chain of negative events. I even speak to myself as a child who needs to repeat things from time to time. I know how you feel, but look around. Look at the wonderful things you have and the lovely people you have and remember that you are a loved one even when you feel completely worthless.
Src2
I'm asking you to help me remind me of this because I know I'm not strong enough to fight on my own yet. It's sometimes easier to hear them outside. The sounds inside me are not strong enough or convincing. I mean, why should I listen to myself when I feel worthless and unhappy?
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