When you were inside me, I knew you were you.....I knew you were my little girl, my Vic...I named you when I was 8, and knew one day Id have a little chickie....and in Oct 2008 you came into this world. You and your 2 brothers are my life, I gave you all everythign I could, a good home, great haircuts, good food, mommy loves to cook....quads, dirt bikes, yous and camping, swimming, cliff jumping with the boys, fishing.....sledding, huckleberry picking, sleeping in the hammock....wow...we sure had a fun life, SMILES! loads of smiles.....every pic I have of you is beautiful, full of love, and I would have done anything fro you all.....what I didnt do, is leave, I didnt leave the abusive relationship with an addict, a hurtful spiteful, mean person.....you told me you wanted me to find you a new daddy...and still I couldnt leave, I was scared... I ruined us, took all the smiles away, and stayed thinking that you needed gymnastics, hockey and expensive clothes.....stayed because I thought you guys needed this "dad figure" but he never was that, he was never there, and when he was he was mean, he didnt even like us......you all saw that, and I didnt look. I pretended we had a different life then what we really had, I was embarrassed by him and his bi-polar alcoholic/drug addict self and I felt weak and stupid for finding such a loser knowing inside I was better then that and I wished I could have left before it was too late. Instead I let him do whatever he wanted, I was scared to say no, and then I didnt tell anyone when he hurt me, I took the blame for his lies, and for his crap, I didnt tell anyone he lived high for almost our entire relationship because he had to, when he came down he was violent, he tried to kill us, and got off every charge he ever had thanks to top lawyers.....Others knew what was going on, they told me to leave, and I lost their friendship too, ignoring them! Then I lost you all , we lost all those smiles, you lost the most important thing ever, your mommy, and Im so sorry.....I know stuff can be replaced, it was worthless, but you and your brothers cant be. You were and are everything to me.I made the changes I needed to.
Today 5 years later....i sit and type, I cry, I carry the ultimate sadness inside me daily. I have made another good life for your brother and me, he was 12 when I had him home, but I couldnt get you back from MCFD. If you only knew the amount of applications I filed with the courts, all the lawyers I have had, the many times I have taken MCFD back to court to ask to see you. The months they ignored me, and alienated you from us. Thankful that my ex has walked away from you and us, not caring, never cared, and never saw or heard from him again....
NOW I am dealing with the most powerful govt agency there is. A corrupt agency, that takes and keeps children based on opinions, assumptions and theories! THEIRS! I can admit keeping you and all of us in a bad situation with a bad person 5 years ago. However, You were never abused, hurt or neglected, you were loved, spoiled and treated amazing, mind you MCFD would beg to differ, and has stated you were emotionally harmed, with the potential to be abused physically......that "word" - "potential" they use that alot to keep children. I have paid greatly for my choices then, as many women who leave teh cycle of abuse understand, and I can carry that regret with me so that I never forget staying.....the regret I couldn't leave is always inside me, knowing today I no longer have my little chickie!
I am a strong woman, a mother, a friend, a hard worker, an advocate, a cool fun person most times. I do love life, I like where Im at, I am safe, happy, my dog smiles now, my son smiles, and I smile for him.....I put everything I have into making sure he is safe, happy and content, that I can do today. However, no day is perfect, without you, no day ever will be perfect again. I think of you every single day multiple time, and carry you with me in everything I do. I hope your ok.
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I am still fighting MCFD for you, I have taken this to the Supreme Ct to attempt this again, found a lawyer ready and willing to fight. MCFD is brutal, there is NOT one reason today why I cannot have you home, and instead of looking at my life today, after 4 years, they sent you away 5 months ago to be adopted with a new "forever family" they say. I have given MCFD many many opportunities to SEE my supporting documents over 2 yrs worth, my letters and what I have done to change the past, to move forward, the social workers REFUSE to acknowledge any change, their opinion is valued very highly, and the minute they state their opinion in court, most parents lose. The opinion that "emotional abuse can possibly lead to physical", the opinion that "she can never change", the opinion that "we dont feel she has been truthful with the therapist" the opinion that "she neglected her kids safety by staying" their opinion that "I was given a safety plan and chose to ignore it" Their opinion that "her son is older so she can care for him"......(really!), "I put them at risk" therefore the opinion that I should never be HER mother again.....that is a FOREVER PLAN, A LIFE SENTENCE! Give me one reason WHY I cannot have her home today? WHY? People, can CHANGE! MCFD forgot to acknowledge that the cycle of abuse is very hard to leave.....that people and kids are resilient and can overcome that like I did, and that should have been taken into consideration, however it WAS NOT!
MCFD STANDS IN THEIR OPINIONS, THEORIES, AND ASSUMPTIONS, TAKING INNOCENT CHILDREN AWAY FOREVER,
RATHER THEN ACKNOWLEDGING CHANGE IN PARENTS- you dont come back from forever.
I am here, I am not giving up, and I am never going away, I will make calls to govt, I will write letters exposing this corruption, and I will go back to court when I can. There is NOT ONE REASON that I cannot have my child home today with me! NOT ONE! My little girl will be 10 this year, 10 years old, suffering Im sure from her own loss, her own emotional pain that they pretend doesn't exist, her own sadness from the missing of her family, attachment issues.....I saw her one year ago, and she begged me to take her home with her brothers....I couldn't protect her from MCFD. The sadness I feel, the loss never goes away, I couldnt protect the most important thing in my life from an agency that is supposed to protect our children from monsters. THEY IN FACT ARE THE MONSTERS, and my daughter needed protection from them!
video I made for my daughter....I love you more then life, more then anything ever,
I AM HERE I am never going away. EVER!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIaa906EX3c&t=15s
PLEASE SHARE- LETS KEEP SHARING THIS CORRUPTION!
Steemit https://steemit.com/@mayaabb @mcfd-legal-kidnapped #STOLEN by MCFD
Facebook @ mcfd-legal-kidnapped , as well as
youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF87Lg5_gNNfxqHnOgoRfzw
THANK YOU :)