Tonight, we're in an article mood. I think everyone is aware; I publish pictures of my children on the internet; in public mode. Am I an irresponsible mother? Am I crazy? Am I crazy? Incapable of discernment? I don't think so. But let's talk about it.
This article has been in my head for a long time. Since the report, focus on the “instamamans”, to be precise. This report, which had already made me receive many negative reactions and comments. I started writing an article to justify my choices. Then I left it out, thinking it wasn't worth it.
"SINCE THE TIME YOU' VE BEEN TOLD NOT TO PUBLISH PICTURES OF YOUR CHILDREN!"
This week, there was initially this information relayed largely on social networks and there were comments in even greater numbers. Then, on Thursday evening, the Swiss TV news also quoted this website discovered by a Dutch cybercrime specialist where they found pictures of children published in public mode on social networks and warned parents. So on Saturday, while checking my phone, I wanted to share my opinion and finish my article which I started months ago. I wanted to offer a little optimism.
If you are a parent, if you are on social networks and if you publish pictures of your children on the internet, you must be in trouble. Of course, that kind of information goes back. First of all because we would like to protect our children and this kind of news will stimulate reflection and stir up the stomach. Then, because every time I read comments like "Since the time you've been told not to publish pictures of your children on the Internet." "You should protect your children instead of posting them”, “If they're being abused, you'll have been looking for them!". etc.
Those sentences, they baffled me, shocked me, more than the article itself. I can't help associating myself with:"Since when I told you not to wear a skirt!" Were you wearing heels?" . Those words full of insinuation. All in all, all we had to do was be careful. We've been looking for what's happening to us.
So, well, maybe I'm going crazy, but in case of doubt, I'd just like to make something clear.
WHERE' S THE VICE? OR IS PERVERSION?
These articles blame parents who would be irresponsible or even unconscious to publish pictures of their children on the Internet. But don't we have the wrong aim? No!? Because the vice is neither to wear skirts or heels, nor to post beautiful pictures of our children on the internet, the vice is to steal pictures of children and to divert them for sexual purposes. The vice is to "relieve" oneself on pictures of children. But we parents are still judging. We will adapt our way of living and seeing the world. We'll fear the worst. Then who should we point to?
AM I IRRESPONSIBLE TO PUBLISH PICTURES OF MY CHILDREN ON THE INTERNET?
People often ask me why I made that choice. I publish pictures of my children on the internet in public mode. It's true, it's true. And then since the opening of the blog, the question quickly arose whether or not I would show them. And then, after discussion with my man, we found it natural to share images of them. Beautiful pictures, just like a diary of selected moments in our family life. I do it because I still believe in what is good on this earth. Is that immature? Well, maybe. But that's my vision. I don't want to give in to fear. Just like I won't stop traveling for fear of bombings.
DO I CARE ABOUT THEIR REPUTATION IN 15 YEARS?
It's true that I don't know what it will be like in 10-15 years. But who knows about us? Today, I agree with what I am doing. I don't know how they will react to all of this, but the pictures are beautiful images that shouldn't hurt them. I ask them today if I have the right to take pictures for my blog. If they agree that other people see these images. Although they don't yet understand all the issues, I think it's important to consult them.
Then I remain their legal authority and until proven otherwise, I could have a much more significant impact on their future. I could decide to move, drop out of school, go live in a truck or whatever. Every day I make choices that expose them and describe their futures. Good and bad choices.
On the other hand, I'm sure of one thing: my children will blame me for something anyway. It doesn't matter if I publish pictures of them or not.
WILL I STOP PUBLISHING PICTURES OF MY CHILDREN?
Even though I don't like to adjust my behavior to the deranged people in our society this morning, I thought about it. And yes, yes. I have my doubts, too. I could do without publishing pictures of my children. The blog is not about them. I opened this breathing space on the internet and social networks to talk about my role as a mother. And with or without a picture of my children, I'm still a mom.
Am I afraid their photos will be hijacked? Yes, yes. Was I scared when I read this article? Yes, yes. I'm not gonna lie to you. I love my children and just the thought of someone stealing their image to satisfy a sexual urge repels me.
So am I still going to publish pictures of my children? Yes, yes. Just as I will continue to wear heels and skirts, even if it excites some. Just as I'm not going to forbid my daughter to wear a summer skirt or a two-piece swimsuit in the pool while some men are watching her. Because, you might not believe it, but the danger is everywhere. Here, tomorrow, on the street, at school, in your family, in a gymnastics club, and so on.
So yes, maybe a child molester, a paedophile enjoys a picture of one of my children. But maybe the guy at the park earlier with his phone, he also took a picture of your child? Who knows? Just because we discovered abuse in schools doesn't mean we don't put children in schools anymore? I don't want fear to dictate our actions.
Our society keeps making us feel guilty. Whatever we do, we're judged. And even more so when you become parents. Just because you decide not to publish pictures of your children on the internet doesn't mean they will be more protected. Just because I decide to expose them on the internet does not mean that my children become potential victims. The real victims are the ones who are in the wrong place at the wrong time. So today, I publish pictures of my children on the Internet. visibly and carefully. Tomorrow, I'll see. On the other hand, what I remember from this article, and all this excitement about the report, are the negative comments full of hatred. Those ones hurt much more. And if one day I stop blogging or if I stop publishing pictures of my children, it will be to protect me and protect them from this hatred or simply because they will no longer agree.
Text from Swiss Crime Prevention.
Most child abuse is committed by relatives of the victim. The authors are usually family members in the broadest sense, friends of the family, teachers and sports coaches that the children already know. Cases of children abducted by perpetrators who are totally unknown to them and then sexually abused are extremely rare. Yet, many mistakenly believe that this very small group of unknown perpetrators constitutes the "typical" paedocriminals.
Another common misconception is that most people think that most child abusers are paedophiles. That is not the case.