One weekend when I was on my vacation my family and I went to the movies. It was my sons first 3-d super hero movie and he had such a great time. He had a huge smile on his face and was amazed at the special effects. He was four at the time..When we got to the car afterward we realized we forgot his little toy car in the theater. He carried this little car with him every where he went. I didn’t know how important it was to him being I’m not there often being that I travel with work. He cried and cried and wanted to go all the way back into the mall just to get that cheap little toy car. I refused. I didn’t want my son to be so worried about material things. I had it in my head to teach a lesson about materialism and how it’s better to not put such a value on things..
About a month later on I was listening to a preacher on the radio telling a story about a similar situation about his son leaving his baseball cap at a cafe. When the father realized that the cap was left behind, he turned the car around and drove 30 minutes in the wrong direction to get the cap. Instead of teaching a lesson on what not to value in life he focused on a more positive lesson. This lesson was on building relationships..
When he turned the car around to retrieve the cap, the emphasis wasn’t on the cap. That can be replaced. The emphasis was on being there for his son no matter how small the situation. This was a relationship builder. This was an adventure to be had with his son. It was something that they could reflect on later in life that they turned around and went in the opposite direction together father and son for a cap..
I guess in a way the father became a hero or at least a problem solver in the eyes of his son that day. He knew that his father was there for him even in a small circumstance. If he is there for small problems how much more would he be there for the bigger situations if life. What a statement he made to his son that day..
What lesson did I learn from this story? It’s not just teaching on the things not to do, but also its the positive lessons or the image building relationship growing lessons. I missed that opportunity to be a minor hero or at least problem solver in my sons eyes that day. I plan on never missing an opportunity like that again..
Obviously at that age he forgot about the car in less than a day but I didn’t. I looked everywhere online for that little car but never did find one. I have regretted that day ever sense..
I think a lot of parents get caught up in life and forget that our children are people also. They aren’t just kids we take care of and protect but also individuals with separate interests and unique personalities that we have a major role in developing. (Scary right?) Even more so, I think a lot of us are concentrating too much on teaching the hard core values and forgetting to build the trust and closeness that we all really want..
One question everyone needs to ask is this. Am I putting a big enough emphasis on what is important to my child. Is what is important to them also important to me. I learned a big lesson on that day. From now on I will listen to my son even if I don’t understand the importance of it, because if it is important to him it will also from now on be important to me also. That doesn’t mean I’ll spoil him and give him every thing he wants. But at least I’ll listen to his concerns and not just dismiss them because I might not understand them.One more big question I will always ask myself is how does my son look at me as a father? Am I just someone who restricts and corrects him or am I a role model, someone he trusts and wants to be like..
Does anyone else have a story of a lesson learned they would like to share? What have you learned in situations like this?
http://www.christianfoodforthought.com/how-to-be-a-hero-to-your-child/