Sharing this because this mother needs to commiserate sometimes and I cannot talk about the bad things which happen to children all the time.
Dear Diary,
The kids are growing up and I'm drowning trying to be a mature mother.I did something silly and stupid this evening
To begin with, I had a long day at work today. Came home late. Zara was waiting for me- she needed to buy her Chinese calligraphy brush and ink for school.
So out we went again.
I decided to grab a late dinner since I had eaten yet.
Zara was happy- it was our time to talk and bond, she said.
What should we talk about?
She wanted to show me the games she knew.
I had to play with her.
This, to the amusement of the waiter serving us! We played her games which I promptly lost at.
Then came the more serious stuff.
I knew she had something important to tell me.
" What shall we talk about?" I asked
‘ Flirting’ she said.
I thought I heard wrongly.
" Pardon? Did you say, flirting? What do you know about flirting?"
" I know a lot, mummy" she said wisely
" Most of my friends have boyfriends and girlfriends in school."
The conversation went downhill from here.
I know I shouldn't have encouraged this particular conversation but I had to ask. I was curious to find out what 10 year olds knew about flirting.
" Tell me more," I queried, scared and fascinated at the same time.
" How do you know when someone is flirting with you?"
" Well," she said. You know if someone likes you first."
"How?"
" From your friends.”
"Okay... and?"
And then you talk a lot when you see the person you like and you smile a lot and play with your hair- if you're the girl, of course" Zara continued.
"You play with your hair?" I squeaked
Now, I'm mortified and I’m sliding lower and lower in my seat, my soup, cold.
I was playing with Barbie dolls at 10. But yes, I also went to an all girls school at 10.
She is oblivious to my discomfort.
" Yes, and then, you pass notes in the class and then, we all meet at the library and you then, you do this ( she puckers her lips and smacks the, together ) and then you walk away. No kissing, And then you turn around again and you smile some more and then, you pass notes in class and you sad bye after school and then you walk away. Like that!"
"That's flirting?"
" Yes," she tells me. " That's when you want someone to know you like him."
It's on You tube.
Google, " how to flirt?"
( It's on You tube? Lessons for 10 year olds?)
I was in pain and she saw.
" Do you like someone, Zara?"
" NO, but my best friend likes someone."
" Okay."
" You young people are strange. What happened to school?"
" We study too."
"Well how did you flirt when you were young? Do you know how to flirt?" she demanded
" I know how to flirt! I said defensively. I was young once
"How?" Zara demanded.
You twirl your hair, you bat your eyelids I show her.
She recoiled, disgustedly .." and yes, you talk a lot!" I said
" and then you titter." I said triumphantly
" You what?," she asked confusedly.
" Titter," you know, "tee-hee, tee- hee, tee-tee -hee! " I giggled exaggeratedly.
" Euwww, no!"
" Euww yes, if you like someone you giggle a lot!" I said
Now, I felt stupid. Why did I insist on continuing with this conversation. But I did.
" Oh my God, mummy , no! That is not how you flirt. That's just wrong. Stop!"
"It is how you flirt. And you shouldn't be flirting with anyone. You're 10 years old." wanting to end the conversation now.
" Mummy, euwww! Please don't show me how to flirt!" You look like a mad person."
Mad person? I couldn't help myself after that.
I puckered my lips and batted my eyelids all through dinner and giggled as much as I could, while we're waiting for our Uber.
My daughter was not impressed.
Should I practice on the waiter or the stranger behind us, I asked
Zara was mortified.
"No, no, No!"
"Please flirt with the orange tree so no one can see you."
So, I did!
Batted my eyelids and puckered my lips at the orange tree, to get a rise out of my daughter.
Who cared about the looks from strangers?
The photo above, is of Zara, waving her hands in front of me, begging me to ‘knock it off!”
Her mother, apparently is a walking space of embarrassment.
I bet you, she won't talk to me about flirting anymore!
Signing off,
